I want a revolution!!! Deregulation from the NCAA! The ULTIMATE autonomy. The Big 5 just gained sovereignty. Truly a New world order in college athletics!

Duck you NCAA! Keeping in-touch with the new profanity. My fingers are too precious to retype the word again. Cheers to you autocorrect.

Right now we are witnessing an incredible time for college athletics (ahem, football).

Playoffs you talkin playoffs?!?! It happened! Hallelujah!!! The heavens opened, and not one couch was torched in the process. This is to you Volunteers and Mountaineers fans. I solute you.

I ran out of my posh apartment to kiss the first stranger who passed me by. I screamed in delight, and no one was underneath me.

THIS is what really could change the landscape, and holds more ground than college athletes unionizing.

Autonomy keeps universities still under NCAA rule. What’s the fun in that? Really? Come on now, don’t boys just wanna have fun? I know this girl really wants it.

Unionizing was such a cute discussion. Adorable best describes the Northwestern quarterback who took a labor Econ class and discovered a word… A verb… An organization that only ~11% of the workforce belongs to. A union, which leads to unionizing. Give that boy an A!

Honey, you don’t belong to a steel mill, or climb into an underground tunnel of possible death, to feed your family. Back it up a notch ok el tigre?

That same young man, is receiving his degree for passing the pigskin thirty yards and the occasional hit. Yes that’s to you Big Ten football. You’re far too boring, kiss kiss.

You wanted it so let’s take this a step further shall we? Exhibit A, Student managers for the football team.

Dependent upon which school employs these darlings, they have to keep the same schedule as the head coach. 5:30 AM, that manager had better be present,, and stay until 11 PM.

Benefits include washing Mr Starting QB’s jockstrap, and receive a tenth of the QB’s scholarship. Don’t even whisper the word fair.

Colleges and Universities do not have to be governed by the NCAA. Sure I’m a tease, however not on this subject. Really go ask your local athletic director, director of compliance or assistant football coach. Better yet silly, just google it.

What about TV?! Don’t get so upset darling, TV contracts are bound within the conferences, not the NCAA. Yes NCAA receives a percentage.

We can now see why Commish Emmert looks so dapper in his bespoke custom suiting, no?

As my final thesis in my labor economics course, I presented and led a massive discussion around why student athletes, (ahem, football players) should be paid more stipend money. Of course monopoly, surplus, and cartel were mentioned. Glad you asked.

I received perplexed looks from those foreign bodies in the seats, asking how an organization as non-related as the NCAA, could govern college athletics.

These People are right.

Who are you Mark Emmert to say USC can’t pay a “student athlete” an extra two grand? Duck you, as I raise my finger…(s) in a… V… Victory! No dirty mind here.

You’re as predictable as I thought you would be. YOU want the juicy details of what would happen. Lets be clear, and no safe words will be involved. It’s a situational discussion.

First, the private institutions would deregulate, including independents such as Notre Dame, Stanford, and BYU. These players can play. They have the money, the boosters / prestigious alums, and will continue to generate decent revenue.

Now Mr. Pickens wouldn’t like that, and would want his dear cowboys out too. Done. So would University of Oregon Inc. Done. Jerry Jones would be tiffed if his alma mater wasn’t leaving. Done. With these little moves, already a fourth of the PAC 12 has left, a sixth of the SEC (whoa almost put an X instead of a C), and more would follow.

We now have a little competition. Puuuurrrfect (as I twiddle my fingers and laugh ominously).

Let’s take a quickie over / under scenario. Over – all Big five schools leave the reins of the NCAA, approx 64 insititions. Under – approx 15 to 20. Not all schools will be on board with this, however the Big 5 schools are mostly comprised of institutions with former lucrative BCS contracts. With this kind of cash flow in place, these schools would be more likely to start toward a new competitive venture.

And darling don’t bring the little guy to this conversation, okay? I’m tall enough, and already enjoy looking down on people in my four inch heels. Let’s have them keep their dignity.

Now I will allow you to fantasize and dream of the playoff scenario this would ensue. In my fantasy it’s beyond ahhhh-mazing.



Author: Football Femme

A football-loving, well-heeled Miss, who enjoys sipping her scotch whisky neat.

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