It’s the most Booorrrriiinnng time if the Year

Hello dear hearts,

It’s another dull day in Cali-forn-i-a… in the city of L-A.

The sun is shining, and not one down of the fabulous sport is being played

–yawn-

I may need to make my appearance at the neighborhood pool again.

SixtyBeverlyHillsRooftop_1_slide

Although, we have news of PAC 12 predictions, and who’s who invited to SEC media days, thanks to the gents at Bleecher Report.

Tommy Boy may have his handcuffs loosened a little, or so Goodie Bear is declaring on CNBC. He’s going to get the NFL house in order! Good luck darling after this little 4th of July special. Defensive End on discount anyone? I’ll give you one missing two fingers for $10 milli. Shocked the Jets don’t want to talk to him…

Earth-shattering news is I may have found a new football savior.

I’m devouting my bandwagon fandom to Stanford this fall, after learning the possibility of this red-shirt freshman starting at QB.

Screaming his name will not be in vain, nor will I look like such a bad girl.

Although, it’s a Shame he didn’t sign his NLI at BYU, or Notre Dame. THAT could have been a shameless good time.

“Chryst will you pass the ball!”

“Chryst will you run the option!”

“Chryst will you rally the troops!”

“Chryst keep your head on a swivel!!”

“Chryst, you make me I love this game!!”

It’s going to be a great football season.

Cheers,

FFF

Advertisements

Bye Bye Belly

Flash of skin, midriff, tight tummy, abs, crop top… A few sexy words that make me cringe when I read, or hear them associated with football.


Although, on occasion viewing this little piece of exposure leads my mind to wonder about how much I enjoy sacks, pounding it up the middle, hammering the QB, or wanting the D… To pick off the ball and score in my the end zone. 

This is a sport involving a pigskin, played on a gridiron. Not a description of the swimsuit edition of SI. Keep the pillow talk where it should be… Between the pillows of course.

I complated a victory lap when I heard the news yesterday. I instead chose to whisper ‘yes!’ under my breath. 

Finally, the NCAA does something right -cue my exaggerated eye roll, similar to when I overheard a silly fool declare he owns oceanfront property…in Arizona. 

I no longer need to see any of the images below. Thank the football gods the chamber in Indy could come to an agreement, not involving cream cheese, or a mascot

In memory of the now prohibited naughty bare stomach, I’ve complied a commensurate collage. 

Cheers NCAA, glad you’re concerned with the serious issues. My glass is half full. 

FFF

Flirting With a Loss

Flirting, coquetry, the fine art of attraction. A few things I may know a thing or two about.

I adore flirting. It keeps me on my toes, lets me know when I can work on something, or when I’m doing something right… which usually leads to doing someone something very right *wink*

Like any purveyor of attraction, these types prefer to push their boundaries…

I’ll never forget the first time I met Coach Carroll (Uncle Pete). The man is a natural-born charmer.

image

I’ll tell you a secret, I was a little nervous, but not immune to being the only woman in a huddle of men, in my Gucci wedges.

I walked up to Uncle Pete and said, “Coach Carroll, pleasure to meet you”, and extended my hand.

The charmer took over. I felt like we were the only two people on the practice field, on that balmy Southern California day in late April.

We exchanged a few familiar names, said he appreciated the support, he likely winked at some point, and posed for a couple pics.

The time was P.S. (pre-selfie)

Uncle Pete has a habit of pushing. Remember that Bush Push? Big Balls Pete during many dangerous 4th, and whatever situations, that resulted in the USC band pumping out another “Fight On for old SC”, and Lineart riding traveler? Ooh that was from my dream last night… you caught me.

PTI for a moment, shame on you NCAA for not allowing this face, this one, and this to not be the face of Trojan. They already are, so why not promote the guys going into battle fully protected, and avoid this situation.

May that be a public service announcement to every athlete, red-blooded male, etc…

Sometimes the same bold moves pull a reverse.

Over 100 million people witnessed this the night of the Big Game. Uncle Pete was letting his cagones swing a little too freely.

My mind was blown. petecarrollmemeblindside

To any ANY casual fan, and little darlings of football 101, let this honey teach you something, you would never EVER pass in this situation! NEVER! 2nd and goal! Why? For the love of (insert here)…?!

This situational play, is like the guy staring down the beauty languidly walking by him. He doesn’t think she is aware he is looking, and when her gaze meets his, well the silly fool, he hits into a pole, wall, door, or his chair falls over

-smack-

Let me tease you for a minute, and don’t act like you don’t want me to. What if I told you Uncle Petey has the biggest of them all?

1) He stuck with the game plan. In football, and this lovely life of ours, sometimes one has to adjust. Other times, just stick to the game plan. (Like the time Al Pacino tells that to Jamie Foxx in Any Given Sunday? Sorry loves can’t find the clip

2) THIS similar situation presented itself against the Packers in the NFC divisional championship, and it won! So if it worked against the Packers, why wouldn’t the coaches look at each other and say puff, puff pass?

As a devotee to the game, this may have been the best SB ever.

belichick lets party

Cheers to you football gods. This glass is on you.

FFF

Putting It All on Red

There’s nothing like the sun peaking in my boudoir, and waking up next to ESPN radio. Like most things in the morning -except a man- first, I have to turn it on.

I was instructed to immediately digest critical knowledge this AM, regarding smart vs stupid. Bless you Bill Barnwell of Grantland. Your momma should be proud.

In the words of the Gray Lion You’ve got to know when to hold ’em Know when to fold ’em Know when to walk away Know when to run

I give you Exhibit A, a solid demonstration of the NFL draft. Except the NFL GM making the moves, would add a couple zeros to that total for a first round picky, pick, pick.

No, don’t believe me? Ok, dear you are right. Nod to Bleacher Report for another piece of truth.

What Billy B and Uncle Pete have done, are not really a genius moves. #sorrynotsorry to turn your man crush into an 7 instead of a 10. Both definitely share a thread of insanity, especially when opting not to punt in several critical 4th down situations. Another example of why this game is ahhhmazing.

These gents prefer to work with their GMs unlike this team. Next, both teams create their own markets, by driving up the demand of the players they really don’t want, making the other GMs take the bait and those that do

As a side note, Commish Goodell let’s discuss draft strategy, switching the draft location from Radio City Music Hall, to the Marlin’s stadium in Miami. Just.Say.Yes!

(Although, this could be a way baseball could lure a younger fan audience)

Hush now, that’s our secret -wink- Nothing the new bossy at the MLB needs to know.

VanKirk-Marlins-Pool-Main-1

Miami. Girls. Booze. Pool. Draft. Halftime could be like polo, when everyone runs out to stomp on the divots. Except it could be kick the ass in the ass, who made the dumb draft pick.

Maybe this isn’t such an original idea

If you think I’m picking on your team, no need to be silly darling. One of those silly teams that reacts by trading draft picks, and picked up (non) Touchdown Jesus, is my team. That other team in New York. J! E! T! S! which usually stands for Just end the season.

Eventually I will hold a state of the union with Woody J, covering how we can not only free up some cap space, but also have a fighting chance to win over Hoodie Billy B. That time is just not now.

FFF

Let Me Savor This Pats

You have been a very, very bad boy Tom…

I just love how those words sound being typed on my little keyboard. Such a bad, bad boy!

Silly Tom, did you think you wouldn’t get caught taking the air out of those balls? The air out of your beloved balls. The balls with the long, white laces you like to caress with your long fingers. Especially that big one you like to…win…the football you like to win with.

As an unofficial honorary member of team gangrene, there’s nothing more satisfying than watching the Pattie Pat Pats, a) loose, or b) get into trouble.

I have this silly smile across my face, and no it’s not about my date last night. Cue Sinatra… I’m in heaven…. Tom Brady, I’m in heaven …Humming along to La Voz, as I pour a MacAllan 15 neat. Cheers to you silly men!

This precious moment brought to us by the deflate-gate scandal, may takeover the beauty of a Brady interception caused by Kansas City corner Sean Smith, earlier this season. Watching the Pats lose that night was satisfaction. De-lic-ious

Quoting Billy B in his opening statement to the media yesterday, “In my entire coaching career, I have never talked to any player or staff member about football air pressure,”

Really… Oh come now… Never… Ever?

Billy B, never is very bold statement. I realize you’re a bold guy, making bold moves in your hoodie and such. (giggle) As a man of your caliber, I would take an educated guess and state, especially after that little affair all of us remember, never is a word your mouth should instantly reject making the sounds of. Pop, lock, and hail-mary pass the key to that word far, far away.

Air pressure is a little valuable commodity. Especially when the primary object used, to move eleven men up and down the gridiron, and the object of the game, #winning, is dependent upon air pressure.

So when you and Tommy Boy have chit-chats, and I’m confident to state you probably know, since you like to channel your own Fifty Shades of Football, and the word controlling has your picture next to it in the dictionary, that YOU know Tom doesn’t really prefer his ball fully inflated. He likes it a little soft…

As Tommy B quoted back in 2011 on that scream-and-pound-your-chest-cuz-I’mma-Bawston-Broh radio station WEEI, and giving a nod to ProFootball Talk as the source, “I love that, because I like the deflated ball.”

2015/01/img_0612.png
Oh Tom… Tom… Tommy Brady (shaking my finger) This Jets fan knows better. You’re charming ways don’t entrance this honey.

Off with this head! Just teasing… I still want to watch that pretty face get sacked.

You know I love sacks -wink-

I’m all in with Colin Cowherd on the ultimate Billy B and Tommy Boy punishment… Mandatory HBO Hard Knocks appearance for two seasons. I can hear the soft cry now. (giggle)

FFF

DEREGULATE

I want a revolution!!! Deregulation from the NCAA! The ULTIMATE autonomy. The Big 5 just gained sovereignty. Truly a New world order in college athletics!

Duck you NCAA! Keeping in-touch with the new profanity. My fingers are too precious to retype the word again. Cheers to you autocorrect.

Right now we are witnessing an incredible time for college athletics (ahem, football).

Playoffs you talkin playoffs?!?! It happened! Hallelujah!!! The heavens opened, and not one couch was torched in the process. This is to you Volunteers and Mountaineers fans. I solute you.

I ran out of my posh apartment to kiss the first stranger who passed me by. I screamed in delight, and no one was underneath me.

THIS is what really could change the landscape, and holds more ground than college athletes unionizing.

Autonomy keeps universities still under NCAA rule. What’s the fun in that? Really? Come on now, don’t boys just wanna have fun? I know this girl really wants it.

Unionizing was such a cute discussion. Adorable best describes the Northwestern quarterback who took a labor Econ class and discovered a word… A verb… An organization that only ~11% of the workforce belongs to. A union, which leads to unionizing. Give that boy an A!

Honey, you don’t belong to a steel mill, or climb into an underground tunnel of possible death, to feed your family. Back it up a notch ok el tigre?

That same young man, is receiving his degree for passing the pigskin thirty yards and the occasional hit. Yes that’s to you Big Ten football. You’re far too boring, kiss kiss.

You wanted it so let’s take this a step further shall we? Exhibit A, Student managers for the football team.

Dependent upon which school employs these darlings, they have to keep the same schedule as the head coach. 5:30 AM, that manager had better be present,, and stay until 11 PM.

Benefits include washing Mr Starting QB’s jockstrap, and receive a tenth of the QB’s scholarship. Don’t even whisper the word fair.

Colleges and Universities do not have to be governed by the NCAA. Sure I’m a tease, however not on this subject. Really go ask your local athletic director, director of compliance or assistant football coach. Better yet silly, just google it.

What about TV?! Don’t get so upset darling, TV contracts are bound within the conferences, not the NCAA. Yes NCAA receives a percentage.

We can now see why Commish Emmert looks so dapper in his bespoke custom suiting, no?

As my final thesis in my labor economics course, I presented and led a massive discussion around why student athletes, (ahem, football players) should be paid more stipend money. Of course monopoly, surplus, and cartel were mentioned. Glad you asked.

I received perplexed looks from those foreign bodies in the seats, asking how an organization as non-related as the NCAA, could govern college athletics.

These People are right.

Who are you Mark Emmert to say USC can’t pay a “student athlete” an extra two grand? Duck you, as I raise my finger…(s) in a… V… Victory! No dirty mind here.

You’re as predictable as I thought you would be. YOU want the juicy details of what would happen. Lets be clear, and no safe words will be involved. It’s a situational discussion.

First, the private institutions would deregulate, including independents such as Notre Dame, Stanford, and BYU. These players can play. They have the money, the boosters / prestigious alums, and will continue to generate decent revenue.

Now Mr. Pickens wouldn’t like that, and would want his dear cowboys out too. Done. So would University of Oregon Inc. Done. Jerry Jones would be tiffed if his alma mater wasn’t leaving. Done. With these little moves, already a fourth of the PAC 12 has left, a sixth of the SEC (whoa almost put an X instead of a C), and more would follow.

We now have a little competition. Puuuurrrfect (as I twiddle my fingers and laugh ominously).

Let’s take a quickie over / under scenario. Over – all Big five schools leave the reins of the NCAA, approx 64 insititions. Under – approx 15 to 20. Not all schools will be on board with this, however the Big 5 schools are mostly comprised of institutions with former lucrative BCS contracts. With this kind of cash flow in place, these schools would be more likely to start toward a new competitive venture.

And darling don’t bring the little guy to this conversation, okay? I’m tall enough, and already enjoy looking down on people in my four inch heels. Let’s have them keep their dignity.

Now I will allow you to fantasize and dream of the playoff scenario this would ensue. In my fantasy it’s beyond ahhhh-mazing.

FFF

About… Me

The blood flows heating my face, and a tingle rises up my spine as I watch four men collide into each other. No, this is not the scene as I’m walking into a bar. This was my excitement watching the 49’ers and Ravens Wednesday night. Aka the Harbaugh Bowl preseason edition.

Thrilling doesn’t nearly reveal the fierce explosiveness on every down in football. Eleven men on each side of the ball. An offensive player trying to shred off a linebacker or DE. Can the QB make his three step drop in the pocket… to complete a pass to his Z receiver, in double coverage? Oh.my.god this is…football!

The ball of foot is my second language, barring it’s American. Raise your high brow to know, I was raised on the beautiful game. I had to sneak to watch NFL and college football games away from an all-woman household.

 
Plus I really didn’t find it amusing when my miles of legs became entwined, as I attempted to channel my inner Mia Hamm, trying out for my junior high team, chasing that ratcheted black and white thing around the field.

Prissy may be a good adjective when you take in 5’9″ of me. Red soled shoes, long tresses and a maintained physique, don’t scream meet me at the sports bar to down a couple of cold ones.

I may appear native to my prestigious zip code, however don’t allow looks to deceive. Maybe it comes from not being able to associate with any certain group. I am no one’s particular woman, yet I represent most.

The only time I get cranky is if I’m not properly watered and fed. And possibly if the Jets lose, however losing is what most fans of Gang Green have come to expect.

I’ll gladly stand toe-to-toe with anyone, and wildly explain why Dan Marino is the best QB to have played, besides Peyton Manning. Explain and diagram the main defensive formations, done. What’s in your box? Quite a dime, no?

Well well what’s my favorite position? Now you’re getting right to the point… tight end. There’s nothing like a good tight end. View a little clip of Ozzie newsome. He could catch – catch it Ozzie one more time! And he could block. The most versitile position in the game, yet many offenses overlook, or under utilize this hybrid position. Two tight end set? Yawn…

To some my blog may be brash. No one is forcing your pretty eyes and brain to read this. Go on with your life, we will both be fine. Thank you for stopping by, kiss kiss.

For the others amused and curious what’s next, may my words entice you to want more.

Cheers,

FFF

IMG_0667