#mcm – The Michigan Man

Dear hearts, since the college football season closed on us this weekend, I wanted to give you my first #mcm (Man Crush Monday) Post.

Who is the Michigan Man?

Bo's 1st Rose Bowl winMichigan Football

I’ve spotted him in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, New York and not as well-known places. He’s everywhere!

Navy Ball caps with a bright yellow capital M emblazoned on the front.

thumb

Dark navy sweaters with MICHIGAN in bold yellow font stretched across the front.

I’ve evaluated, and calculated, or just observed every twentieth car on the 10, 405, 101, 110, and side streets, has a Michigan license plate cover.

He is out. He is proud. He is The Michigan Man.

He doesn’t have a race or a particular face. No economic status. He is every man’s man, but also a step above the rest. He signifies something, an institution, a leader. He provides hope.

Who are the notable MM? Desmond Howard, Tommy Boy (Tom Brady), Les Miles (formerly L-Les-U), Rich Eisen, a former Prezzy (Gerald Ford), of course the ultimate MM Harbsy (Coach Harbaugh).

Isn’t it only fitting the men of Michigan play in The Big House?

The first time I stepped in The Big House, wearing my school colors, which are Red & White, similar to their hated rival tOSU, I was a little worried, especially after we won.

Hint: fellow femme’s, or gents inform your ladies, don’t bring a big bag to the big house. It will get bag checked. From that little lesson, I will not bring a big anything, anywhere.

I can’t throw shade to the MM. He and his ladies were very friendly to us. They invited us to their post-game tailgate, said they would improve once Rich Rod adjusted  (we know how well he didn’t adjust), and they wanted to review the game.

30f386d884636fb7cd48991b8669e303We had just won against this storied program, incredible the Michigan Men and women had that class.

Hail to the Michigan Man. Nice to see you again.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Advertisements

High Expectations

Like my scotch habits and heels, my expectations are also high in regards to the season soon upon us. We know it, sense it and smell it… It’s almost here dear hearts.

Allow me to lick my lips while saying, mmmmm

NFL training camps begin next week and CFB conference days are wrapping up. Let me share what’s recently caught my eye…

Expansion – generally means an increase in size. What if the name you currently have doesn’t match your current size? Is it still considered an expansion?

logo

I’m all about the Big XII being twelve again. The name is downright misleading. Since this is a voting year, I’d vote for two in blue – BYU & Memphis. First you get the Blessing and second you get the SEC. 

Speaking of the SEC, they’re Just the good old boys. Never meanin’ no harm.

I know I wasn’t the only one thinking this as I watched SEC media days…

Let’s evaluate the new boys in town – Muschamp,  Odom and Smart.

smart_0718

Looking quite fitting in their sport coats and bama bangs. Enough evaluating, moving along. 

My borderline (non)affair for Coach Bielema rages on, after this gem parting from his lips:

“At Arkansas we’re not built very sexy, we’re just kind of a work in progress. We need a lot of time in the bathroom to get ready and come out and look great.”  

Oh Coach…

The SEC – charming, country, and sometimes too much.

Speaking of too much, oh lovely another TV channel. The ACC network is here. My eyes did a double take with no adult beverage in my little system. Twenty years is quite something to see, and dear hearts it’s happening until 2036.

Take that in for a moment.

We also know if the Irish choose to commit, which makes me giggle since they are so Independent, they have a nice pair of golden handcuffs tied to… The ACC Network. 

image

I’ll end with the perfect words for the upcoming season:

I need you, I need you, I need you right now
Yeah, I need you right now
So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down
I think I’m losing my mind now
It’s in my head, darling I hope
That you’ll be here, when I need you the most
So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down

Cheers,

x|o FFF

 

 

So Bored…

We’ve heard really boring news.

Oh no, another football players doesn’t like training camp, and OTA’s. He’s entitled, according to a former NFL GM.

Think the guys working construction jobs in the summer heat or people working at fast food restaurants for minimum wage would consider it a burden to run around on a practice field in no pads at OTAs? Or lift weights and prepare for the season ahead in training camp while being paid millions of dollars?

Let me roll my little eyes for a moment…

Honey, remind yourself of what you’re writing about.image  NFL = NOT FOR LONG

When anything starts with, ‘back in the 70’s…’ Stop right there mister. Maybe you need your iCal on your little iPhone, as a reminder the 1970’s have gone, bye.

First, has this man held any of the positions he has such strong opinions about?

Secondly, does this man seriously think the construction worker or fast food worker could handle football training?

It’s intense that’s why AP is considering dropping it. He’s also a competitive guy and stating the obvious. Like the old saying, blocking and tackling, it means repetition. After a decade plus of repetition, it grows boring and stale. I noticed this guy decided to retire. Could it be due to a little daily boring… repetition? 

Practice abuses your body and mind. As a highly regarded, former GM, this Mr should recognize that and honor that statement. It’s also not the first football-related piece of news he’s hating on.

Yes, practice is boring. It’s practice. It’s not glamourous. Unlike the now late, buddy Ryan mentality. It’s smart. This sport is begging for smart men to step forward and boldly state the truth. Maybe their bodies can’t handle it any more, although AP says his body is just fine. 

I’ll lick my lips over the argument, NFL players get paid more than school teachers!

Yes dear, it’s called supply and demand. Don’t know it? I suggest you pick up a book or google, and learn something today.

Almost anyone can be a teacher. It takes natural abilities and talent to play in the NFL. It’s also a little private entity- or rather a busy-nass that is worth, only tens of billions of dollars.

How they spend their money is their business, literally and figuratively.

here-is-how-much-money-every-nfl-team-has-to-spend-before-next-season

Think your local school disty can compete? Didn’t think so.

If you want to believe I have zero sympathy for the teacher, don’t be so foolish. My mother was one. I know what it’s like to live on a teacher’s salary.

And let’s don’t twist AP’s boring news with him being saint Peterson. Two wildly different arguments. I understand the negative man is working to chip away at Peterson’s character, and the boring practice comment doesn’t add to his repertoire.   

I’m bored… where’s something to catch my attention, like the season starting.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

 

 

 

YO’LO

Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell – POE

You think you had a bad day?

Unless your daddy called you a druggie, feels the clink would be a good place for you to land, and your agent ‘accidentally’ texted the wrong AP, in hopes you don’t need a little testing done, I think someone else’s day overran yours. FullSizeRender (3)

Johnny boy needs help, as Coach Madden would say, stating the obvious.

He’s been Spinning too many plates once again. He’s already damaged one in the process, besides himself. 

It was noted & quoted when football Johnny was being evaluated for the draft, “Everything he does is sloppy”.

I shook my head a little, and rolled around the block of ice in my glass, as I thought of writing about sloppy. I don’t do sloppy in any way, shape or form.

NFL gents, you knew it was going to be one of those nights with Johnny. More money, more access, all leading to an overinflated ego wouldn’t make Johnny want to push a little more, right boys?

Shame on you.

Now we know it’s our secret, that I consider myself a football expert.  

So let’s rewind to 2013 when he was slinging the ball back at A&M. Even I (yes, me in my heels) could tell he’s a system QB. Not quite a fit for the pros. Definitely not a first round pick. 

Think of any QB Urban Meyer has coached. Example, Touchdown Jesus. Even HE couldn’t do it, and recall dear heart, he had The Only Begotten on his side, blushes hearing the letters S…E…C, and the only thing he has blazed, is a trail to his church door.

Now unfortunately we have to watch one of these top-daft cases every few years / decades. Oopsie lords of professional football, mistakes happen but this, could have been prevented.

It’s as though you have a mistress for a year. ‘Safe’ isn’t a top priory and now she’s a little larger in the front… and needs to talk to you.

Don’t tell me you didn’t see it coming.

What Johnny posted on his little IG a couple of months ago is not shocking.

“I’ve been the same person, doing the same things since it all started”.

FullSizeRender

I’ll give the boy credit where it’s due. He’s right, he has been the same person. The only people caught in a Johnny Football reverie, were those in the NFL.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

#NLI No Lying Intentionally

What an exciting day!!!

Cheers to all coaches for making bold moves on the recruiting front.

image

Especially Harby’s tree climbing skills, and sleepovers .

image

While in years past this was something to behold, I have to believe now, it’s just kind of… kind of in years past. What a shame

I’m yawning at another ball cap swap. The crew sitting in the back, while the senior in HIGH SCHOOL calls a press conference underneath the basket in the gym. Taking a page from The Decision, and stating he is proudly going to… (insert here)? Cute

Posts will be written about class rankingsthose expected to redshirt. The geographical breakup of recruiting classes per conference, and who’s expected to start.

While my eyes roll over this craziness, I’m also intrigued and #guilty for reading every post. Football… mmmmm

Honey, let’s have a heart-to-heart. In two years will you honestly remember a sixth of these names? Me either.

Now, if you still believe football takes a jocks-only mentality, why would Notre Dame and Stanford achieve Top 25 recruiting classes, and a Top 11 and 3  final AP ranking respectively? It’s a smart game dear hearts. Drink it in.

Get ready to work boys. Enjoy the last four months of freedom. After, it’s you and this guy, and this one screaming duck you every other word out of their mouths.

No, you’re not good enough to be there, you had better earn it. 

Cheers

x|o FFF

Putting It All on Red

There’s nothing like the sun peaking in my boudoir, and waking up next to ESPN radio. Like most things in the morning -except a man- first, I have to turn it on.

I was instructed to immediately digest critical knowledge this AM, regarding smart vs stupid. Bless you Bill Barnwell of Grantland. Your momma should be proud.

In the words of the Gray Lion You’ve got to know when to hold ’em Know when to fold ’em Know when to walk away Know when to run

I give you Exhibit A, a solid demonstration of the NFL draft. Except the NFL GM making the moves, would add a couple zeros to that total for a first round picky, pick, pick.

No, don’t believe me? Ok, dear you are right. Nod to Bleacher Report for another piece of truth.

What Billy B and Uncle Pete have done, are not really a genius moves. #sorrynotsorry to turn your man crush into an 7 instead of a 10. Both definitely share a thread of insanity, especially when opting not to punt in several critical 4th down situations. Another example of why this game is ahhhmazing.

These gents prefer to work with their GMs unlike this team. Next, both teams create their own markets, by driving up the demand of the players they really don’t want, making the other GMs take the bait and those that do

As a side note, Commish Goodell let’s discuss draft strategy, switching the draft location from Radio City Music Hall, to the Marlin’s stadium in Miami. Just.Say.Yes!

(Although, this could be a way baseball could lure a younger fan audience)

Hush now, that’s our secret -wink- Nothing the new bossy at the MLB needs to know.

VanKirk-Marlins-Pool-Main-1

Miami. Girls. Booze. Pool. Draft. Halftime could be like polo, when everyone runs out to stomp on the divots. Except it could be kick the ass in the ass, who made the dumb draft pick.

Maybe this isn’t such an original idea

If you think I’m picking on your team, no need to be silly darling. One of those silly teams that reacts by trading draft picks, and picked up (non) Touchdown Jesus, is my team. That other team in New York. J! E! T! S! which usually stands for Just end the season.

Eventually I will hold a state of the union with Woody J, covering how we can not only free up some cap space, but also have a fighting chance to win over Hoodie Billy B. That time is just not now.

FFF

Let Me Savor This Pats

You have been a very, very bad boy Tom…

I just love how those words sound being typed on my little keyboard. Such a bad, bad boy!

Silly Tom, did you think you wouldn’t get caught taking the air out of those balls? The air out of your beloved balls. The balls with the long, white laces you like to caress with your long fingers. Especially that big one you like to…win…the football you like to win with.

As an unofficial honorary member of team gangrene, there’s nothing more satisfying than watching the Pattie Pat Pats, a) loose, or b) get into trouble.

I have this silly smile across my face, and no it’s not about my date last night. Cue Sinatra… I’m in heaven…. Tom Brady, I’m in heaven …Humming along to La Voz, as I pour a MacAllan 15 neat. Cheers to you silly men!

This precious moment brought to us by the deflate-gate scandal, may takeover the beauty of a Brady interception caused by Kansas City corner Sean Smith, earlier this season. Watching the Pats lose that night was satisfaction. De-lic-ious

Quoting Billy B in his opening statement to the media yesterday, “In my entire coaching career, I have never talked to any player or staff member about football air pressure,”

Really… Oh come now… Never… Ever?

Billy B, never is very bold statement. I realize you’re a bold guy, making bold moves in your hoodie and such. (giggle) As a man of your caliber, I would take an educated guess and state, especially after that little affair all of us remember, never is a word your mouth should instantly reject making the sounds of. Pop, lock, and hail-mary pass the key to that word far, far away.

Air pressure is a little valuable commodity. Especially when the primary object used, to move eleven men up and down the gridiron, and the object of the game, #winning, is dependent upon air pressure.

So when you and Tommy Boy have chit-chats, and I’m confident to state you probably know, since you like to channel your own Fifty Shades of Football, and the word controlling has your picture next to it in the dictionary, that YOU know Tom doesn’t really prefer his ball fully inflated. He likes it a little soft…

As Tommy B quoted back in 2011 on that scream-and-pound-your-chest-cuz-I’mma-Bawston-Broh radio station WEEI, and giving a nod to ProFootball Talk as the source, “I love that, because I like the deflated ball.”

2015/01/img_0612.png
Oh Tom… Tom… Tommy Brady (shaking my finger) This Jets fan knows better. You’re charming ways don’t entrance this honey.

Off with this head! Just teasing… I still want to watch that pretty face get sacked.

You know I love sacks -wink-

I’m all in with Colin Cowherd on the ultimate Billy B and Tommy Boy punishment… Mandatory HBO Hard Knocks appearance for two seasons. I can hear the soft cry now. (giggle)

FFF