BUSTED

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Last post, I brought up the Redskins playing risk with their potential playoff situation, who made my naughty list, including the BS bowl games that are not worth yours or my precious time. Also the intense criticism against Christian McCaffery and Leonard Fournette’s decisions to not play in their BS games, and prep for the NFL.

cspglw-wiaa1p1hA few posts ago I mentioned the NY Giants looked like a paper tiger, and to not allow their record fool you. Dear hearts, TNF made me look like a football genius. 


The Eagles flew right by those silly men who thought they are big. The D with out JPP looked lifeless, and OBJ in his now viral post game meltdown, provides nice examples that a team is not worth their record. 

Let me tell you a little story, a few years ago after the niners lost in the super bowl, my friend’s son, had one of the most epic meltdowns my little eyes have ever witnessed. In one motion he threw down his niners hat, while melting onto his knees. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He screamed “noooooo”.

I’ll admit, I was very uncomfortable. Last Thursday that uncomfortable feeling came back, watching OBJ at night.

He was channeling this little boy, who had everything he asked for, except he wanted the box the toy came in, his mother threw in the garbage. He growled, then threw this forehead into a wall.

Not.Cute. 

December 24 was another sunny day in LA. As a nice little start before my holiday travel, I took in the Packers and Vikings. Mr December, yes that’s Aaron Rogers, has shown us how his stats can only grow during this month.

img_4658A Christmas Miracle arrived in Cleveland, and it wasn’t because of LeBron. The Brownies won! Then heartbreak hit later.

Who’s list grew faster, the NFL IR or Santa’s? That wasn’t a trick question.

The world came crashing down for the Raiders, Titans and Seahawks. Each saw their respective team aces break things and require season-ending surgeries. I’m guessing that’s not what they wanted for Christmas, Hanukkah or the New Year. 

Raiders HC Del Rio was the star in the most somber press conference after a win. The nightmare isn’t over. While it’s never a great time to lose your leader, this was really poor timing football gods. Playoff-worthy, must-win games versus the Chiefs + the Broncos are set over the next two weeks for the Raiders. Brace yourself Raider Nation, it could be happiness or disaster. 

img_4521Well just paint my sole red! Oh, it already was. Here’s a little tip, no matter how terrible the Steelers or Ravens have played during the season, their matchup is always one to watch. A nice defensive battle, ticking down to a last-second-who-will-win play. No one, not even three Ravens defenders could block the catch thrown to Steelers, you can’t touch this,WR Antonio Brown.

Next came the Chiefs putting the axe down on the Donkeys. Oh, you didn’t know I loathe the Broncos? Now you do, and that’s for Boise State too.

The Chiefs are the Chief team to watch in the NFL right now, besides the Cowboys, in my little opinion. I’m not saying this since each have premiere tight ends, solid o-lines, and lockdown DBs. Well, maybe that’s why they should be watched for your viewing pleasure.

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Speaking of the Cowboys, Monday night was a little delight. The first 30 minutes provided the best chess match up on turf all week. Then the roaring stopped in the second half, and the game moved into boring status. I saw one person on the Lions D, zig and zagging, his name is Ziggy Ansah after all, and was the only defender attempting to wrap up Dak, Zeke, and Dez. At least the Dallas D finally made their appearance.

Pass protection of Dak is awe-inspiring. Really, O-line coaches should be making an o-face happy face, and asking how can I do that, watching what Dallas has done.

You may have noticed I didn’t mention anything college football-related. Good catch, Friday I will preview my little thoughts and opinions around the start of the Playoff, also the Orange and Rose Bowls. All will be stunning for yours and my little eyes to see.

greed-whiskeyMy affair with whiskey was enhanced in Park City. There’s a nice little ski-in / out distillery I had the pleasure of savoring, before jetting back to reality. Who says you can’t drink in Utah?

Cheers,

x|o FFF

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Don’t Let Me Down

Last post I caught us up to date on the Playoff picture, that the Jets loss on MNF was my nightmare before Christmas, and I would love a new team as my holiday prezzy. I was also very much looking forward to the game of the year on TNF, the Raiders and Chiefs.

By the powers of the NFL + Twitter, Thursday night meant I could have my nails done, while watching the object of my desire, the Oakland Raiders on my little phone. Technology I cannot live without you.

The Chiefs D made Carr, and all his receiving weapons look like each of them were missing their abilities. I was so impressed. I’m also guilty of not looking much in Travis Kelce’s way, the Chiefs chief TE, so I decided to look up his stats. Google informed me Catching Kelce was not something I was not only yelling telling the Raiders D, but a show on E!

Want to know how much of a reality TV femme I am? Hint, it’s next to none.

Football, yes. The Bachelor, no.

In the near future I’ll post what I like to answer anyone who asks, what’s my favorite position… tight end. They are quite nice, and need to be used more, which lucky for me, have been used in several offenses across the league this season.   tightend_position

It’s always a little dull on Saturdays when the college football season has said bye, I’m leaving for another year. 

I saved up my hopes for Saturday night , that Lamar Jackson would win the Heisman. When he did, I felt like Clark Griswold after his lights finally turn on.

high-west-distillery-yippee-ki-yay-blended-straight-rye-whiskey-utah-usa-10738181This glass is to you Heisman voters, Yippee Ki Yay! No really, the glass I poured to honor the Heisman winner Saturday, really was High West’s Yippee Ki Yay Whiskey. 

Knock, knock…

Who’s there? It’s Lane. Lame? No Lane. Lame?

Yes, very lame, Lane Kiffin

(autocorrect please… don’t stop providing me with endless ideas)

A torched couch by the local Volunteers, in front of his family’s home in Knoxville, can’t keep Lane away from his head coaching dreams. I’m shaking my head, really trying to undress what it is Lane wants… 

I may need to put on a pot of bourbon to help me type through this situation…

Lane provides us an updated persona to associate with #winning.

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He’s had not one, not two, but three, tres, trois – coveted HC positions.

We’ve heard the saying, torch your past bridges to light the one in front of you. Lane has done that with perfection… straight to FAU

It wasn’t enough to be the youngest coach in the NFL coaching the Raiders, and later being called a liar by the owner Al Davis. Lane wasn’t scared, so he was off to charm Tennessee in the SEC. Once that wasn’t working, he chose to leave that one for a more pretty one, named USC. Surprise, surprise that didn’t work out either, as he was left on the tarmac on the plane ride home, without his things, when the pretty one said, this is done.

This is not a recap of your friend’s or my friend’s relations-it. This is the fabulous life of Lame Kiffin. This is the kind of reality TV I enjoy dear hearts.

This is a man who after winning a game, when being asked by the media, acts as though he just arrived in America, and doesn’t quite understand how to speak the english language into a camera. Simply, Borat would give a better post game interview.

Dear Lane, let’s have a little heart to heart and let me make a few points:

a). we’re all done with Saban

b) you have Coach O’s cell number 

c) you’re meant to be a OC at most

d) you’re not HC materiaL 

e) Baton Rouge is full of many pretty southern belle’s… who adore football

f) you’re single now

g) you’re not winning

h In Baton Rouge you would win!

The alphabet is tired , and so am I, and I didn’t run out of more reasons to give…

With these points dear Lane, tell the Owls you’re deeply sorry. You drunk dialed the athletic director, and oops said yes to something you really shouldn’t have. Say thank you, but no thank you. Then hang up and call Coach O. Do it now.

This kitty may need a cat nap after all of that and it’s only Tuesday. Never mind, let’s keep the good times rolling.

Dear Washington HC Peterson you may want to call this guy. He won by two touchdowns in his Bowl Game against your next opponent. Okay it was 2009 and Bama may not have been as loaded as they are now, but my little point is, he and his staff beat the Sabonator. And if you don’t have Sack Lake City on speed dial, may I suggest you do it now. We’re all counting on you to disrupt the path of the Boring Bama dynasty.

Oh the Jets…they won in overtime. (silence) Now, when can I see the GM board the plane and leave everyone on the tarmac to fulfill my Christmas wish? Don’t call me a grinch. This is the intervention us Jets fans need.

Sunday night gave us a glimpse into what may lie ahead for the NFC with the Giants / Cowboys matchup. Although the Cowboys lost, I’ve been impressed every time I watch a little Dak. He takes control, and he can’t do that without solid protection. Control? Protection? I want more… I’m talking about a nice QB and a solid O-line of course. 

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Showdown

Baby stay calm we don’t need another episode

Future

Oh my… now! Right there! Yes, no. Yes! Yes! That’s it!

bed-sheetsThat was me on Sunday AM, realizing the PST alarm wasn’t set for noon EST.

It’s difficult to tap that app when you’re first waking up.

How was that WTF weekend? That’s what the football, of course.

Ever felt as though trying to keep up with all this exhausting? Me neither. Let’s keep the good times rolling dear hearts.

The Playoff Chamber has spoken. The selections have been made. Oh dear, your team wasn’t chosen? Neither was mine. It’s simple, get better at football, win and be willing to play a solid out of conference schedule. 

As for the playoff I like to think in terms of what I like, quality. I’m also guilty of enjoying a hot, fabulous mess. Who doesn’t? Realize, hot messes are reserved for the season. They’re fun and quickly forgotten. Remember Iowa last year? Their QB was Beathard (literally) You want that again?

Uh huh honey, sure you do…

When trophies are involved, keep it classy and save the best for last. eyes-cant-watch

Sunday, was not quite bloody but it sure was nice. A few scores (Bills/Raiders, Chiefs/Falcons) kept nice and tight, just like Thursday night, and exactly what I like.

One word sums up the Jets season, disaster.

A real nightmare before Christmas. I saw Andrew Luck pop up when I was asleep last night. I couldn’t defend him. I felt hopeless. I can’t take this anymore.

So dear Jet’s owner Woody Johnson, and that wasn’t a double entendre I was intending, you’re really living up to your name in more ways than one, and that’s not a compliment. 

Santa, all I want for Christmas is for a new Jets team. Yes, a whole new team. Pretty please?

Which reminds me, it’s the season of angels.  One tried to make one, while these were my favorite from last night.

Now on to Thursday. Show me a good time Chiefs and Raiders.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Let Me Savor This Pats

You have been a very, very bad boy Tom…

I just love how those words sound being typed on my little keyboard. Such a bad, bad boy!

Silly Tom, did you think you wouldn’t get caught taking the air out of those balls? The air out of your beloved balls. The balls with the long, white laces you like to caress with your long fingers. Especially that big one you like to…win…the football you like to win with.

As an unofficial honorary member of team gangrene, there’s nothing more satisfying than watching the Pattie Pat Pats, a) loose, or b) get into trouble.

I have this silly smile across my face, and no it’s not about my date last night. Cue Sinatra… I’m in heaven…. Tom Brady, I’m in heaven …Humming along to La Voz, as I pour a MacAllan 15 neat. Cheers to you silly men!

This precious moment brought to us by the deflate-gate scandal, may takeover the beauty of a Brady interception caused by Kansas City corner Sean Smith, earlier this season. Watching the Pats lose that night was satisfaction. De-lic-ious

Quoting Billy B in his opening statement to the media yesterday, “In my entire coaching career, I have never talked to any player or staff member about football air pressure,”

Really… Oh come now… Never… Ever?

Billy B, never is very bold statement. I realize you’re a bold guy, making bold moves in your hoodie and such. (giggle) As a man of your caliber, I would take an educated guess and state, especially after that little affair all of us remember, never is a word your mouth should instantly reject making the sounds of. Pop, lock, and hail-mary pass the key to that word far, far away.

Air pressure is a little valuable commodity. Especially when the primary object used, to move eleven men up and down the gridiron, and the object of the game, #winning, is dependent upon air pressure.

So when you and Tommy Boy have chit-chats, and I’m confident to state you probably know, since you like to channel your own Fifty Shades of Football, and the word controlling has your picture next to it in the dictionary, that YOU know Tom doesn’t really prefer his ball fully inflated. He likes it a little soft…

As Tommy B quoted back in 2011 on that scream-and-pound-your-chest-cuz-I’mma-Bawston-Broh radio station WEEI, and giving a nod to ProFootball Talk as the source, “I love that, because I like the deflated ball.”

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Oh Tom… Tom… Tommy Brady (shaking my finger) This Jets fan knows better. You’re charming ways don’t entrance this honey.

Off with this head! Just teasing… I still want to watch that pretty face get sacked.

You know I love sacks -wink-

I’m all in with Colin Cowherd on the ultimate Billy B and Tommy Boy punishment… Mandatory HBO Hard Knocks appearance for two seasons. I can hear the soft cry now. (giggle)

FFF