THE CHAMPAGNE CAMPAIGN

Looking like a damn football team / All in the same thing 
All repping one thing / Looking for Revenge -Drake 

Last post wasn’t about my New Year’s resolutions, instead how the Rose Bowl made me elicit every emotion possible. I was a little off about Clemson, and the only NFL wildcard game worth it’s time. 

How was that for you? I’m talking about last night… img_4908

Dear neighbors, this season is almost over and maybe my screaming will subside. I can’t promise anything.

Let me take you through, as we witnessed Saban get Dabo’d, in the 2017 National Championship. Sorry Rose Bowl, this may have been as good as you were. 

It started a little dull, after several three and outs, a defensive battle on both sides, Hurts was living up to his name for the Clemson D. I thought here we go again… Boring Bama, minus their defense. One word describes Bama’s D… Explosive 

This game felt like it was lasting way too long, and then… img_4365

~8:32 PM PST “Hell yes we have a game!” Oops… sometimes I can’t control myself. 

Deshaun Watson said he said he went HAM. We cannot disagree dear hearts, his stats prove it (36-of-56, 420 YDS, 3 TD; 1 RUSH TD). Clemson WR Mike Williams was in beast mode all game. Suddenly the Clemson offense opened up, with the D hitting bama hard. They kept it moving… all the way into the end zone, on a last-second play ! This is football! 

The Bama Bangs bowed their heads like it was Sunday. Let those tears roll. Congrats to Clemson – you did it! Rawr

Did you see that Bama cheerleader coach on the sideline? I’m a coach! I’m a coach! We get it. Quit waving your arms. Put them down. Cross them across your chest with a scowl on your face. Much better. 

I won’t discuss the ball-gate that occurred before this game. Remember what your mommas told you boys? Keep your hands to yourself.

Moving on to that pro life, some Giants were channeling their Lonely Island / T-Pain I‘m on a boat! in Miami, while Hoodie Billy B was keeping it real in Nantucket.

The Process associated with winning may not be sexy, but if you want to win, get comfortable with the uncomfortable. That means resisting the urge to Insta or tweet every little thing you do. It’s my gospel that the sin is in sharing, even when it’s too good not to. Keep the mystery alive.

Learn the habit of self-control.

Oh… I’m talking about a pro wide receiver. Never mind, you’re the only one exempt from my preaching. We need drama from you. We’re counting on NFL WR’s everywhere to continue end zone celebrations, wear those flashy cleats, pose on boats like it’s your rap album cover, and give yourselves outrageous names. I encourage all to channel their inner Ricky from Baller’s, so balance can remain in the NFL, and allow us to roll our eyes a little while giggling. 

After the Giants loss to the Packers, which shocking to no one, a Lambeau wall was the latest victim of The OBJ. Dear Goody Bear (Roger Goodell) let me purr in your ear this… Could you give one of those tents on the National Championship sideline to The OBJ? Us other NY football fans would thank you for it. 

A few key match ups this weekend toward the SB. screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-2-06-26-pm

I’m going to slap my little head if I have to hear about the Cowboys chances of winning the Super Bowl again. It’s called a fantasy. I experience them often.

Let’s keep calm until we see the Cowboys play the Packers this weekend. A-Rog showed us his gun on Sunday. Chances are likely it will be a high-scoring affair. Doesn’t it feel like the 90’s again?

2e21db36d00d8ea94f00dabf1f3767cdOne of these teams will be giving the other the bird, (I couldn’t help it) the Falcons / Seahawks on Sunday. Don’t overlook the Atlanta Falcons. They have been the dark bird of the NFL this season, not exactly the dirty bird they used to be, but have been playing fierce.

Seattle’s defense has been playing with a take-no-prisoners mentality, and say hello to their Bobby Wagner. Their ground game has taken a beating since Marshawn Lynch retired last season, leaving Wilson & Co to air out the offense. They have been using their TE Jimmy Graham a lot, which I like. He’s my favorite position. 

The S’hawks previous trips to the playoffs will be an asset. So will the ATL home crowd(ed) in the Georgia Dome for the other birds. Should be fun.  

Plan on the Pattie Pats, and the Chiefs to advance.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

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BUSTED

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Last post, I brought up the Redskins playing risk with their potential playoff situation, who made my naughty list, including the BS bowl games that are not worth yours or my precious time. Also the intense criticism against Christian McCaffery and Leonard Fournette’s decisions to not play in their BS games, and prep for the NFL.

cspglw-wiaa1p1hA few posts ago I mentioned the NY Giants looked like a paper tiger, and to not allow their record fool you. Dear hearts, TNF made me look like a football genius. 


The Eagles flew right by those silly men who thought they are big. The D with out JPP looked lifeless, and OBJ in his now viral post game meltdown, provides nice examples that a team is not worth their record. 

Let me tell you a little story, a few years ago after the niners lost in the super bowl, my friend’s son, had one of the most epic meltdowns my little eyes have ever witnessed. In one motion he threw down his niners hat, while melting onto his knees. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He screamed “noooooo”.

I’ll admit, I was very uncomfortable. Last Thursday that uncomfortable feeling came back, watching OBJ at night.

He was channeling this little boy, who had everything he asked for, except he wanted the box the toy came in, his mother threw in the garbage. He growled, then threw this forehead into a wall.

Not.Cute. 

December 24 was another sunny day in LA. As a nice little start before my holiday travel, I took in the Packers and Vikings. Mr December, yes that’s Aaron Rogers, has shown us how his stats can only grow during this month.

img_4658A Christmas Miracle arrived in Cleveland, and it wasn’t because of LeBron. The Brownies won! Then heartbreak hit later.

Who’s list grew faster, the NFL IR or Santa’s? That wasn’t a trick question.

The world came crashing down for the Raiders, Titans and Seahawks. Each saw their respective team aces break things and require season-ending surgeries. I’m guessing that’s not what they wanted for Christmas, Hanukkah or the New Year. 

Raiders HC Del Rio was the star in the most somber press conference after a win. The nightmare isn’t over. While it’s never a great time to lose your leader, this was really poor timing football gods. Playoff-worthy, must-win games versus the Chiefs + the Broncos are set over the next two weeks for the Raiders. Brace yourself Raider Nation, it could be happiness or disaster. 

img_4521Well just paint my sole red! Oh, it already was. Here’s a little tip, no matter how terrible the Steelers or Ravens have played during the season, their matchup is always one to watch. A nice defensive battle, ticking down to a last-second-who-will-win play. No one, not even three Ravens defenders could block the catch thrown to Steelers, you can’t touch this,WR Antonio Brown.

Next came the Chiefs putting the axe down on the Donkeys. Oh, you didn’t know I loathe the Broncos? Now you do, and that’s for Boise State too.

The Chiefs are the Chief team to watch in the NFL right now, besides the Cowboys, in my little opinion. I’m not saying this since each have premiere tight ends, solid o-lines, and lockdown DBs. Well, maybe that’s why they should be watched for your viewing pleasure.

new-nike-2013-dallas-cowboys-football-uniform-new-dallas-cowboys-helmet-jersey-and-uniform-history-official-nfl-dallas-cowboys-uniform-jersey-and-helmet

Speaking of the Cowboys, Monday night was a little delight. The first 30 minutes provided the best chess match up on turf all week. Then the roaring stopped in the second half, and the game moved into boring status. I saw one person on the Lions D, zig and zagging, his name is Ziggy Ansah after all, and was the only defender attempting to wrap up Dak, Zeke, and Dez. At least the Dallas D finally made their appearance.

Pass protection of Dak is awe-inspiring. Really, O-line coaches should be making an o-face happy face, and asking how can I do that, watching what Dallas has done.

You may have noticed I didn’t mention anything college football-related. Good catch, Friday I will preview my little thoughts and opinions around the start of the Playoff, also the Orange and Rose Bowls. All will be stunning for yours and my little eyes to see.

greed-whiskeyMy affair with whiskey was enhanced in Park City. There’s a nice little ski-in / out distillery I had the pleasure of savoring, before jetting back to reality. Who says you can’t drink in Utah?

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Don’t Let Me Down

Last post I caught us up to date on the Playoff picture, that the Jets loss on MNF was my nightmare before Christmas, and I would love a new team as my holiday prezzy. I was also very much looking forward to the game of the year on TNF, the Raiders and Chiefs.

By the powers of the NFL + Twitter, Thursday night meant I could have my nails done, while watching the object of my desire, the Oakland Raiders on my little phone. Technology I cannot live without you.

The Chiefs D made Carr, and all his receiving weapons look like each of them were missing their abilities. I was so impressed. I’m also guilty of not looking much in Travis Kelce’s way, the Chiefs chief TE, so I decided to look up his stats. Google informed me Catching Kelce was not something I was not only yelling telling the Raiders D, but a show on E!

Want to know how much of a reality TV femme I am? Hint, it’s next to none.

Football, yes. The Bachelor, no.

In the near future I’ll post what I like to answer anyone who asks, what’s my favorite position… tight end. They are quite nice, and need to be used more, which lucky for me, have been used in several offenses across the league this season.   tightend_position

It’s always a little dull on Saturdays when the college football season has said bye, I’m leaving for another year. 

I saved up my hopes for Saturday night , that Lamar Jackson would win the Heisman. When he did, I felt like Clark Griswold after his lights finally turn on.

high-west-distillery-yippee-ki-yay-blended-straight-rye-whiskey-utah-usa-10738181This glass is to you Heisman voters, Yippee Ki Yay! No really, the glass I poured to honor the Heisman winner Saturday, really was High West’s Yippee Ki Yay Whiskey. 

Knock, knock…

Who’s there? It’s Lane. Lame? No Lane. Lame?

Yes, very lame, Lane Kiffin

(autocorrect please… don’t stop providing me with endless ideas)

A torched couch by the local Volunteers, in front of his family’s home in Knoxville, can’t keep Lane away from his head coaching dreams. I’m shaking my head, really trying to undress what it is Lane wants… 

I may need to put on a pot of bourbon to help me type through this situation…

Lane provides us an updated persona to associate with #winning.

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-5-30-59-pm

He’s had not one, not two, but three, tres, trois – coveted HC positions.

We’ve heard the saying, torch your past bridges to light the one in front of you. Lane has done that with perfection… straight to FAU

It wasn’t enough to be the youngest coach in the NFL coaching the Raiders, and later being called a liar by the owner Al Davis. Lane wasn’t scared, so he was off to charm Tennessee in the SEC. Once that wasn’t working, he chose to leave that one for a more pretty one, named USC. Surprise, surprise that didn’t work out either, as he was left on the tarmac on the plane ride home, without his things, when the pretty one said, this is done.

This is not a recap of your friend’s or my friend’s relations-it. This is the fabulous life of Lame Kiffin. This is the kind of reality TV I enjoy dear hearts.

This is a man who after winning a game, when being asked by the media, acts as though he just arrived in America, and doesn’t quite understand how to speak the english language into a camera. Simply, Borat would give a better post game interview.

Dear Lane, let’s have a little heart to heart and let me make a few points:

a). we’re all done with Saban

b) you have Coach O’s cell number 

c) you’re meant to be a OC at most

d) you’re not HC materiaL 

e) Baton Rouge is full of many pretty southern belle’s… who adore football

f) you’re single now

g) you’re not winning

h In Baton Rouge you would win!

The alphabet is tired , and so am I, and I didn’t run out of more reasons to give…

With these points dear Lane, tell the Owls you’re deeply sorry. You drunk dialed the athletic director, and oops said yes to something you really shouldn’t have. Say thank you, but no thank you. Then hang up and call Coach O. Do it now.

This kitty may need a cat nap after all of that and it’s only Tuesday. Never mind, let’s keep the good times rolling.

Dear Washington HC Peterson you may want to call this guy. He won by two touchdowns in his Bowl Game against your next opponent. Okay it was 2009 and Bama may not have been as loaded as they are now, but my little point is, he and his staff beat the Sabonator. And if you don’t have Sack Lake City on speed dial, may I suggest you do it now. We’re all counting on you to disrupt the path of the Boring Bama dynasty.

Oh the Jets…they won in overtime. (silence) Now, when can I see the GM board the plane and leave everyone on the tarmac to fulfill my Christmas wish? Don’t call me a grinch. This is the intervention us Jets fans need.

Sunday night gave us a glimpse into what may lie ahead for the NFC with the Giants / Cowboys matchup. Although the Cowboys lost, I’ve been impressed every time I watch a little Dak. He takes control, and he can’t do that without solid protection. Control? Protection? I want more… I’m talking about a nice QB and a solid O-line of course. 

Cheers,

x|o FFF