Twisting and turning
Your feelings are burning
You’re breaking the girl
(She meant you no harm) / Red Hot Chili Peppers
Dear hearts, I’ve really held my tongue debating if I should write what I’m about to write. Thanks to the not-so-fine-non-gentleman @Uber, I strongly feel I must.
As a woman who has worked in male-dominated industries my entire professional career, which include finance, football and high-tech, you wouldn’t assume or guess it upon first looking at me. I dress and look very feminine, hence why I chose the name of this blog to reflect my style, writing about the two things I adore, football and scotch whisky.
I prefer skirts and dresses and 3-4″ heels on a daily basis. I do not feel comfortable in dress pants or flats. I’m also already tall, which can add a factor of unfortunate intimidation in some cases.
I’ve learned how to put people at ease, since I do not fit into a box of what they feel I should-be, since this is who I am.
Why am I explaining this? I have been the only woman at countless meetings, dinners, and events. I’ve hardly thought twice about it. I have not wanted to be treated any differently than the men around me. I worked hard for my respective positions, and my perception is, there is no difference between us.
We are witnessing social injustice toward women across football programs and Silicon Valley companies, and I feel I need to stand up and say something on behalf of my gender, and as a woman who has been employed in both sectors.
Be warned, I’m about to channel my inner 90’s Courtney Love.
First, I see a coward in Travis Kalanik CEO of Uber, who finds NOW is the time he needs to make changes, including gathering all the female engineers within his organization to share with them, he can sympathize.
I nearly threw up.
Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to have a man unexpectedly reach up your skirt and feel you up or slap your a**?
Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to get stared down like a piece of meat from an co-worker you want NO part of, and are terrified to walk to your car parked in the underground garage when you wrap up your work at 9 PM?
Trav I’m sure you know what it’s like to report said employee to HR, only for them to look you up and down and say, well you are an attractive woman., and this is only his first offense.
Maybe you know exactly what it’s like to work your a** off and be told, we appreciate your efforts but that guy over there, who isn’t nearly as qualified as you are honey, feel he’s a better fit. Later to discover he has a family, that’s why he’s a better fit.
Travis you definitely know what it’s like to have a baby and return from maternity leave only to find your position suddenly no longer necessary, or told if you have kids, climbing back to your position will be nearly impossible.
Travis I’m sure you can sympathize what it feels like to be a woman…
Next, The University of Oklahoma, including and not limited to HC Bob Stoops (whom I strongly believe should still be fired for allowing that running back on his team receive a slap on the wrist for breaking a woman), is also part of this problem.
One NFL GM and team will believe they can change, what they view as a little misfortune, and make him into a good-guy. I’m suppressing one hell of a laugh. Gents, habits are not formed overnight. You think this is a one-time incident? Think again.
Lastly, Baylor… is just warming up. It’s officially Wa-Co for women in Waco, including of all people within their athletic department, this female non-leader, women’s basketball HC, Kim Mulkey and her comments last week.
Come on Kim, I thought these things were done with no tears? Isn’t that the game played, or what you tell your players?
Let me be absolutely clear here, I love and adore men. I am not a I’m-a-woman-here-me-roar-type. I do not believe one gender is superior to the other. WE need each OTHER.
I have had the privilege to work with astounding, humble and talented people. I’ve also worked with arrogant, egomaniacal people who believe the world and everyone in it owes them something. That’s just life.
I (speaking for myself) do not want to be treated any differently than my male-counterparts. All I ask is for the same opportunities as them.
As Diane von Furstenberg said in her remarks, the night her exhibit Journey of a Dress opened at LACMA, I’ve always wanted to live a man’s world in a woman’s body.
I want to emphasize here dear hearts, I’m not looking to be right. I want us to get it right. These are issues the president of our country has been accused of committing, which makes my stomach sink.
We are failing here and it’s shameful.