RETURN OF THE BACK

No one man should have all that power
The clock’s ticking, I just count the hours
Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the power – Kanye West

Keep it simple, run it up the middle. NFL teams may soon nod their heads in agreement dear hearts. This draft is bursting with running back talent, it feels like we’re back in ’94.

Power, known in football circles when an explosive RB blasts through the gaps the O-line creates for him, and pounds through any of the D-lineman, or linebackers in front of him. Smash mouth football at it’s core. The same style of football I lovingly named the Big Ten, Big Boring for seasons.

Over the last 10-ish seasons in the NFL, 15-ish for college, the shift in popularity of teams favoring the spread offense, which features slot receivers and quick passing plays maximizing yardage, is ultimately the counter to power, and usually more exciting to take in on your 50+ inches of pleasure.

This draft may have offensive coordinators shaking up their schemes.

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The beauty of power running is the simplicity, which makes it straightforward. Ground and Pound. 

  • Leonard Fournette
  • Dalvin Cook
  • Christian McCaffrey
  • Alvin Kamara
  • D’Onta Foreman

These are a few names who are hopeful to have Commish Goodie Bear, give them a rose jersey, and announce the home team where their destiny awaits.

Speaking of drafting, you caught me… Yes I watched The Combine. I was a little surprised McCaffrey ran a faster forty than Fournette. Apparently the latter weighed in five LBS more than he played in college. Oops… Muscle weighs more than fat, we know that!

My favorite position was a standout… Tight End. We know I love a nice one. With the schemes NFL teams have been running -Panthers, Saints, Pattie Pats, Cowboys- a solid TE is needed in the modern game. I love every second of it. In my little opinion, the most versatile and generally underrated position on a team.

There’s also a well-known veteran RB who may be willing to dock his ship with the Vikings to join another team – AP, Adrian Peterson. He’s feeling a little unappreciated by his fellow crewmen, or maybe he’s feeling bored again.

We’ve heard the saying, stand up for something or you will fall for anything. If you kneel for something, will you fall standing up? It’s okay dear, you’re not the only one shaking your head. Colin Kaepernick, professional National Anthem protestor and former semi-QB for the hot-mess San Fran 49’ers,has decided, since his recently updated status is FA, Free Agent, he will no longer kneel during the National Anthem. He performed his duties -eye roll-

Can’t trick us silly Cap! We know this was a PR move his agent suggested, and it’s burning him.

Another week, and not boring… Thank you off-season Gods.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

 

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LIGHT IT UP 

Hold on to the end, that’s what I intend to do. I’m hopelessly devoted to you

Olivia Newton John

Last post I caught us up on the Chiefs making the Raiders look like they were back in  2013, my favorite position, how the Heisman voters made me a very happy lady, and one very Lame Kiffin. 

Last Thursday night, who needed Christmas lights as the Seahawks lit up our homes.

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Would have been shameless fun for the lights to go out, like another game we remember, to see if those uni’s would glow. How fun would that be? Glow football… I have fantasies too you know.

Monday night, Redskins corner Josh Norman was definitely 1:1 with no safety help, like Jay Z said, and that’s not a compliment. Cam Newton looked like he did two seasons ago with his impressive performance. Distributing the ball to one of my favorite tight ends, Greg Olsen and passing deep to Ted Ginn Jr (he’s still around?!). They came and they slayed.  

With the Redskins out of the playoff picture, I’m not positive their QB Kirk Cousins will receive the payday he’s been yelling about. Do we need to remind him that playing football is a privilege, like he mentioned in the little speech he gave while in college at MSU?

What rhymes with 2016? Oh, and sixteen.

When I feel a little sad for being a Jet’s fan, I’m reminded of the Browns. They found themselves on my naughty list this year, as well as a few other lovely unwatchable teams, like the Jags, 49’ers, Jets, Rams and The Bears.

Oh and one more made my naughty list this year, Non-playoff bowl games.

The Bowl S**t games, (giggle or roll your eyes. I like to give you options dear heart, you’re welcome), give us something to talk about, and those people who give us the pre-season Top 25, something to base their rankings off of, and not do their homework.

We know the disguise these BS games stand for, Show Me the Money.

img_4317I don’t appreciate the attempts of clever statements that are just plain dirty. I have to nurse a glass of neat, after hearing, people want to watch! It gives the players something to play for!

You’re telling me that a 20-year old really wants to take a vacation to Boise, ID to play one last game in the Potato Bowl? Oh, and the coaches do too? It’s like this guy last week who told me he has ocean front property in Arizona. I’m about to roll on the floor in a fit of giggles, without someone tickling me.

Want to know what these little bowls also provide? Ca$h money to the other teams in their conference. Similar to the NFL and their revenue sharing model, colleges and universities are guilty of sharing their money too, honey.

A long, long time ago (2007) when Boise State won over Oklahoma in the Fiesta bowl, all non-big boy school conference commissioners decided it would be a fine idea to pull a Robin Hood, and distribute the proceeds across ALL of the non-big boy schools… WTF.

Yes, another what the football moment.

Suddenly that milli was not going to the team who actually won the game, but Southern Mississippi State, Appalachian State, and (insert here) University we had never ever heard of.

The only BS I licked my lips over and considered canceling dinner plans for, San Diego State vs Houston, wasn’t worth it.

In more college football-related news, now that Lame Kiffin is out, Sark is back, as the new Bama OC. Remember, Lame Kiffin’s desire is to be a HC of a school no one wants to watch. Seems about right.

Oh, the millennial generation is being selfish again, or this is what some old school football voices are saying.

Several coaches, and others have openly criticized LSU’s Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffery of Stanford, for skipping their BS games, to prep for their next move in their lives, going pro.

Let me pose the real question, who’s the real selfish one in this debate, player or coach?

I find these comments easy to say, from men who’s bodies aren’t beat up after every game, and have a little cash in the bank to provide for those they love or want to love.

It’s a shrewd business move for a player who’s pro career will have an average life of <4 years. Think about that for a moment…

Now, what’s so wrong with an football player doing the same as his coach? That’s being a business-man.

Coaches stretch the truth and leave all the time. Remember when Saban told us he wasn’t leaving the Dolphins for Bama? Silly old non-saint Nick.

79gKCwl50jhaXiXC7-8u8haRp8rq4L1xYI2K1CajfQ8Keep your emotions in check that a player has his own interests in mind, and should after being devoted to his school, and assisting them to victory. LSU and Stanford’s wins were on the backs (pun intended) of Fournette and McCaffery.

Now off Utah I go… ’tis the season to be merry, although that’s not my name.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Don’t Let Me Down

Last post I caught us up to date on the Playoff picture, that the Jets loss on MNF was my nightmare before Christmas, and I would love a new team as my holiday prezzy. I was also very much looking forward to the game of the year on TNF, the Raiders and Chiefs.

By the powers of the NFL + Twitter, Thursday night meant I could have my nails done, while watching the object of my desire, the Oakland Raiders on my little phone. Technology I cannot live without you.

The Chiefs D made Carr, and all his receiving weapons look like each of them were missing their abilities. I was so impressed. I’m also guilty of not looking much in Travis Kelce’s way, the Chiefs chief TE, so I decided to look up his stats. Google informed me Catching Kelce was not something I was not only yelling telling the Raiders D, but a show on E!

Want to know how much of a reality TV femme I am? Hint, it’s next to none.

Football, yes. The Bachelor, no.

In the near future I’ll post what I like to answer anyone who asks, what’s my favorite position… tight end. They are quite nice, and need to be used more, which lucky for me, have been used in several offenses across the league this season.   tightend_position

It’s always a little dull on Saturdays when the college football season has said bye, I’m leaving for another year. 

I saved up my hopes for Saturday night , that Lamar Jackson would win the Heisman. When he did, I felt like Clark Griswold after his lights finally turn on.

high-west-distillery-yippee-ki-yay-blended-straight-rye-whiskey-utah-usa-10738181This glass is to you Heisman voters, Yippee Ki Yay! No really, the glass I poured to honor the Heisman winner Saturday, really was High West’s Yippee Ki Yay Whiskey. 

Knock, knock…

Who’s there? It’s Lane. Lame? No Lane. Lame?

Yes, very lame, Lane Kiffin

(autocorrect please… don’t stop providing me with endless ideas)

A torched couch by the local Volunteers, in front of his family’s home in Knoxville, can’t keep Lane away from his head coaching dreams. I’m shaking my head, really trying to undress what it is Lane wants… 

I may need to put on a pot of bourbon to help me type through this situation…

Lane provides us an updated persona to associate with #winning.

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He’s had not one, not two, but three, tres, trois – coveted HC positions.

We’ve heard the saying, torch your past bridges to light the one in front of you. Lane has done that with perfection… straight to FAU

It wasn’t enough to be the youngest coach in the NFL coaching the Raiders, and later being called a liar by the owner Al Davis. Lane wasn’t scared, so he was off to charm Tennessee in the SEC. Once that wasn’t working, he chose to leave that one for a more pretty one, named USC. Surprise, surprise that didn’t work out either, as he was left on the tarmac on the plane ride home, without his things, when the pretty one said, this is done.

This is not a recap of your friend’s or my friend’s relations-it. This is the fabulous life of Lame Kiffin. This is the kind of reality TV I enjoy dear hearts.

This is a man who after winning a game, when being asked by the media, acts as though he just arrived in America, and doesn’t quite understand how to speak the english language into a camera. Simply, Borat would give a better post game interview.

Dear Lane, let’s have a little heart to heart and let me make a few points:

a). we’re all done with Saban

b) you have Coach O’s cell number 

c) you’re meant to be a OC at most

d) you’re not HC materiaL 

e) Baton Rouge is full of many pretty southern belle’s… who adore football

f) you’re single now

g) you’re not winning

h In Baton Rouge you would win!

The alphabet is tired , and so am I, and I didn’t run out of more reasons to give…

With these points dear Lane, tell the Owls you’re deeply sorry. You drunk dialed the athletic director, and oops said yes to something you really shouldn’t have. Say thank you, but no thank you. Then hang up and call Coach O. Do it now.

This kitty may need a cat nap after all of that and it’s only Tuesday. Never mind, let’s keep the good times rolling.

Dear Washington HC Peterson you may want to call this guy. He won by two touchdowns in his Bowl Game against your next opponent. Okay it was 2009 and Bama may not have been as loaded as they are now, but my little point is, he and his staff beat the Sabonator. And if you don’t have Sack Lake City on speed dial, may I suggest you do it now. We’re all counting on you to disrupt the path of the Boring Bama dynasty.

Oh the Jets…they won in overtime. (silence) Now, when can I see the GM board the plane and leave everyone on the tarmac to fulfill my Christmas wish? Don’t call me a grinch. This is the intervention us Jets fans need.

Sunday night gave us a glimpse into what may lie ahead for the NFC with the Giants / Cowboys matchup. Although the Cowboys lost, I’ve been impressed every time I watch a little Dak. He takes control, and he can’t do that without solid protection. Control? Protection? I want more… I’m talking about a nice QB and a solid O-line of course. 

Cheers,

x|o FFF