GILDED

I know what to show / And what to conceal No one ever died from wanting too much
The world is not enough -garbage 

img_4920Pattie Pat Pats… -sigh- you did it again…

Yes, this is obviously late dear hearts. I had to give myself a week to digest what exactly happened. I’ve watched the tale of the tape a few times, and realized I missed something quite special, while I was in someplace quite special.

Truth is not only was my heart in Paris my-self was too. I found a way with my pretty friend, to watch the first half up until halftime, when everyone went Gaga. Until that point, I wasn’t going Gaga. I thought, well maybe the Pats are done and my fantasy may come true.

I had to sleep. I had a train to catch the next AM to London. Europe doesn’t hold its schedule for a femme who loves her American games.

The texts I woke up to hours later were priceless…
“What a game!”
“Wow… just wow” 
“Boo… can’t believe that happened” 

I immediately tapped my apps to figure out just WTF (what the football) had just happened hours earlier. 636219326615899498-usp-nfl-super-bowl-li-new-england-patriots-vs-atl

I was stunned… but not really. As a Jets fan, we know how those boys to the north find ways to win, and Coach Belichick has his own fifty shades of control drawn up for every team, tapping into his inner voyeur spying analyzing them.

Although the Hot-lanta Falcons were giving the Pats a taste of how fiery they were, I became concerned how their man to man D could continue playing as intense, as they had so far. Let’s face it dear hearts, you would be exhausted too if you had to chase around receivers x, y, z and the greatest QB of all time. Not an easy task, let alone the biggest game of your life that lasts longer, and is far more heavy than any of the other 16 games, and playoffs you’re already exhausted from playing.

Tommy boy proved my thinking to be right where it needed to be.

Enter Julian Eldelman, who’s not only my trainer’S BFF, he also catched that catch, bringing me to my knees and tears to my eyes. Paris heard me say “OOHHHH LA LA!!!”  That play was both glorious and hurtful.

The game was Magnifique!  Who needs the Mona Lisa or a Monet? This is football!

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Could we stop what we’re doing this moment, to give Coach Sark a congratulatory clap for his quick comeback? Hollywood couldn’t have written a better script. From getting fired at USC, to battling alcoholism, Sark has been not only been an OC for Alabama, he’s now the newly appointed OC for the Falcons. Maybe Lame Kiffin should take a page from Sark’s book.

Looks like the offseason won’t be boring. Keep it coming gents.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Not Lying Intentionally (NLI)

Dear hearts I have so much to share with you, my fingers are shaking with excitement! 

Are you ready for this weekend? SB LI is Sunday if you didn’t know. Yes the Patty Pats will be playing, along with their fearless leader, Hoodie Billy B.

Kind reminder to refrain from doing this during the game … He’s their fearless owner  0ap3000000397918_video_cp

Be like this guy…. He’s lit and over 70 years old. Not quite the dirty bird, close enough. img_5223

He’s also the Falcons owner in his spare time, since retiring from building the store you likely spend your Saturday improving your home at. 

Personally, I’d rather sit sixth row, wearing in my fur, channeling my inner Joe Namath at Met Life Stadium, while watching the heartbreaking Jets play, in front of me when I’m over 70. I’m optimistic over the next four decades… img_4478

Who will win this lovely game? Watching the Pats lose a SB again is a nice little thrill. I prefer when Tommy Boy is upset. It’s not that easy to predict, and this game could be one of the best SB match ups to date. 

Let me guide you through a few points: 

Pattie Pats Pros

  • Experience – been here, done this before with 4 trophies  
  • Brady – arguably, sigh- one of the greatest QB’s of all-time will be starting
  • Possibilities -Belichick +DC Patricia +OC McDaniels can draw up plays and game plans that make opponents have nightmares

Negatives

  • Gronky – that tight end is out and he played a critical role 
  • Overconfidence – they may want to throw it to the birds, and that wouldn’t be smart with this Hot-lanta team

Falcons Pros

  • Offense – Fast + versatile with QB Ryan and primary target, J. Jones
  • O-line – Solid protection to operate the show behind them
  • Defense – A force and one who can fly into Brady 
  • HC Quinn – the new coach pumped more than a little life into the team this season
  • OC Shanahan Jr – he knows what to do with their system(s)

Falcons Negatives

  • Inexperience  – 18 years since last SB appearance
  • Defense –  young things Belichick can destroy quickly with his Tommy gun and additional offensive weapons – Edelman +receivers x, y, and z…

My prediction is a low-scoring affair, heavy on the D. That’s where both teams will need to focus since both offenses are potent.

If you are a pro-only type of football fan, the worst time of the year has possibly begun.

Unless you’re like me, who enjoys pro-style and college. nli_logo_400x400

Over the last 7-10 days, snaps, tweets and and many videos of recruits announcing to us silly fans, which school they will be signing off all their rights to as student athletes, tomorrow. 

The days of the hat swap in a high school gym, or an idea taken from The Decision have vanished. It’s okay dear heart to get a little excited. Now take a breath, and realize 2 -3 gents actually work out. It’s like picking a stock netting you a 35% gain. There’s not a science to it. Luck plays a heavy hand. 

Oh no… We’re witnessing another stadium finance disaster. How do you catch a billionaire? Or a millionaire trying to become a billionaire. Offer him several hundreds of millions in cash for a new stadium. Giggle if you didn’t see this coming…

These little snags happen. Ronnie Lott is running in to save the day, just like he used to when he played for the 49er’s. That’s domination in more than one way. Oh, San Diego is now also giving an offer… the residents will love that.

This is a lot to suddenly take in…img_4922

Cheers,

x|o FFF

ONE MORE TIME

The devil went down to Georgia / He was lookin’ for a soul soul to steal  – Charlie Daniels 

In my last update, I explained how greed is good for The League in LA, in a city where one team isn’t enough, and a round up of the divisional playoffs. 

I promise dear hearts, it wasn’t the unusual rainfall here in La-La land, or my (x) glass of Auchentoshan from the night before on the Sunset Strip, that I felt a little sleepy in the 2nd quarter of the Falcons / Packers Sunday…img_5158

This was a completely different game versus their other match up in October.

That was fun, this was a challenge

I chanted Go Pack Go,  hopeful they would make it a game. The devil, or the Packers defense couldn’t quite capture Matty Ice on Sunday in Georgia, at the last game played in the Georgia Dome. Another football relic I won’t see, before the demolishing crew comes in with a wrecking ball…

We didn’t view much stealing from the Packers sideline, besides looks of sadness. There really aren’t juicy details to review what we watched dear hearts. It was clear, the Falcons #roseup and the Pack didn’t. Game over. 

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The Patty Pat Pats are in the SB again…

New England demonstrated that with, or without their tight end, no problem. Enter their third string WR Chris Hogan. He used to be property of the Bills, and thank the football gods he didn’t play against the Jets. He pulled off the same numbers as Julio Jones (2 TDs for 180 Yards). Yes, the well-known Hot-lanta WR. 
The Steelers didn’t look organized. Saying the secondary played terrible is being quite kind. Terribly good is not what I meant. 

Six carries for 20 yards… Le-Vey-on-it, wasn’t on it. That’s exactly what she said here. No ball security and / or finding the end zone, or at least a first down. Cap it off with Big Ben is threatening to retire. 

Try not to giggle as much as I did over the following sentence: Johnny Manziel has announced to the world, he’s ready to grow up, sober up and return to The League.

Yes dear I have fantasies too, but these are quite some dreams Johnny has…

Johnny Football decides now he loves football? Let’s read between Johnny’s good intentions to find the unvarnished truth: a collector or five may be knock-knocking on Johnny’s door, and he needs to earn a paycheck quickly.  

He’s been invited to the newly minted NFL Spring League, or the USFL 2.0. The League knows we will likely watch a subtle hot mess. At least it’s football… In the Spring. 

In real news, Harbsy is taking his squad to Rome for a week in April. Of course educational experience was mentioned, this is a college football team. Don’t try to read into the details where this was announced just over a week before Not Lying Intentionally (NLI) Day, meaning every recruit in the nation’s ears just perked up, and if they didn’t, mine did. 

I know I shouldn’t but I do… want a Harbsy international scandal. Now it’s written, so maybe it will be done. If history likes to repeat, we know something is bound to happen. Although we already have enough with the current Viva America show that just started. 

Cheers,

x|o FFF

C’EST LA VIE

 

Ready. Aim. Fire. 29906170001_5283644839001_usp-nfl-nfc-divisional-green-bay-packers-at-dalla

What we witnessed Sunday dear hearts, when Mr Rodgers walked into Dallas’ neighborhood with his fire-arm. Dusting off the Cowboys, and their non-defense, like the snow he shovels out of his driveway.

This weekend of NFL divisional playoffs demonstrated the key to win is, have a solid QB. Big Ben, Matty Ice, Tommy Boy, and definitely not that big Houston bust, Brocky Boy.

Let’s give Dak credit, for performing so terribly in the first half, his stats nearly mirrored A-Rodg’s. Try to stay calm that HC Garrett doesn’t want to officially name who his starter will be next season. If he did, what fun would that be? We would have less to question and / or talk about. Perspective darlings, always keep it in mind.

I noticed the ‘boys MLB Sean Lee can’t play all corners of the field and continue to drop back. He definitely gave it a good shot. Jerry needs to learn from another owner how to make your GM get you two corners. Hint, tear off two corners of a napkin and pass along. Brilliant

Lay-Ve-On-it i

The new femme verbiage for Leveon Bell, the Steelers running beast, or RB. Good description of why he needs to touch the ball when the other Steelers threat, Antonio Brown isn’t posting a live feed in the team’s postgame huddle.

Speaking of the real NFL reality star Travis Kelce, his Irish temper flared up. Can you blame him? If one call made the decision of an outcome for all playoff games this weekend, the holding penalty against the Chiefs OT for the 2-point conversation was it.

Oh, and the Pattie pat pats won. (Eye roll) Some habits die hard. So dear football gods, this is my request for a Packers / Steelers SB.

Blame it on the Rams for leading the charge. Here comes a another team to my dear city. url

I have zero respect for a team who blew smoke in the eyes of their beloved fans, taking a page out of the former Baltimore Colts, (pulling off an unexpected overnight relocate in ’84 from Baltimore to Indy) how to relocate and make your fan base loathe you, overnight.

Since we believe in discussing unfair advantages here, lets flip to the business side. This move was genius.
Depending what personal beliefs you subscribe to, capitalism may be a pretty or ugly word. This move was all about the capital. The starter 30K seat stadium, along with gate receipts, (concessions, merchandise, tickets and that suite life) will be incredible numbers for not only the team, also The League.

Remember dear hearts, NFL teams split their revenue, which is the key in all of this craziness, equating to a solid strategic move for The League hitting that $25 BILLION revenue target Goodie Bear wants to achieve by 2027.

In short, we saw a Billionaire playboy who was married for 54 years, leave his long-term old thing, for the smoking hot new thing, and eventually making his bank account grow.

I have a little feeling, the Chargers will find a way to be the next Hard Knocks team.

 

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Let Me Savor This Pats

You have been a very, very bad boy Tom…

I just love how those words sound being typed on my little keyboard. Such a bad, bad boy!

Silly Tom, did you think you wouldn’t get caught taking the air out of those balls? The air out of your beloved balls. The balls with the long, white laces you like to caress with your long fingers. Especially that big one you like to…win…the football you like to win with.

As an unofficial honorary member of team gangrene, there’s nothing more satisfying than watching the Pattie Pat Pats, a) loose, or b) get into trouble.

I have this silly smile across my face, and no it’s not about my date last night. Cue Sinatra… I’m in heaven…. Tom Brady, I’m in heaven …Humming along to La Voz, as I pour a MacAllan 15 neat. Cheers to you silly men!

This precious moment brought to us by the deflate-gate scandal, may takeover the beauty of a Brady interception caused by Kansas City corner Sean Smith, earlier this season. Watching the Pats lose that night was satisfaction. De-lic-ious

Quoting Billy B in his opening statement to the media yesterday, “In my entire coaching career, I have never talked to any player or staff member about football air pressure,”

Really… Oh come now… Never… Ever?

Billy B, never is very bold statement. I realize you’re a bold guy, making bold moves in your hoodie and such. (giggle) As a man of your caliber, I would take an educated guess and state, especially after that little affair all of us remember, never is a word your mouth should instantly reject making the sounds of. Pop, lock, and hail-mary pass the key to that word far, far away.

Air pressure is a little valuable commodity. Especially when the primary object used, to move eleven men up and down the gridiron, and the object of the game, #winning, is dependent upon air pressure.

So when you and Tommy Boy have chit-chats, and I’m confident to state you probably know, since you like to channel your own Fifty Shades of Football, and the word controlling has your picture next to it in the dictionary, that YOU know Tom doesn’t really prefer his ball fully inflated. He likes it a little soft…

As Tommy B quoted back in 2011 on that scream-and-pound-your-chest-cuz-I’mma-Bawston-Broh radio station WEEI, and giving a nod to ProFootball Talk as the source, “I love that, because I like the deflated ball.”

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Oh Tom… Tom… Tommy Brady (shaking my finger) This Jets fan knows better. You’re charming ways don’t entrance this honey.

Off with this head! Just teasing… I still want to watch that pretty face get sacked.

You know I love sacks -wink-

I’m all in with Colin Cowherd on the ultimate Billy B and Tommy Boy punishment… Mandatory HBO Hard Knocks appearance for two seasons. I can hear the soft cry now. (giggle)

FFF