GIVE IT TO ME

No I’ll stand my ground / Won’t be turned around /And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand my ground -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers 

I wonder what my neighbors just thought… Screaming yes! yes! multiple times, check. Don’t put it in there, and Get in there, were definitely said. Just pound it in, was said many imagestimes.

I love sacks, yes I said that. Highly likely I screamed it too, because I do.   

I want it to Butt. Obviously… We know I prefer a nice Tight End, who’s last name is perfection for his position. 

And everything was tied together by a Oh my… What was that? No, no don’t stop. 

Dear hears, that’s what the Orange Bowl did to me this tonight. It was so good, I’m left exhausted and very satisfied.

Oh you want the details? Well, let me delight you. Let’s start from the beginning. 

Before the kickoff, about five minutes before, drama came into play. It was announced Michigan’s Heisman finalist and human specimen, Jabrill Peppers would not be playing. WTF

Uh huh honey, another What The Football moment.

Apparently he sprained something practicing, and everyone felt it was best to not have him play. Am I the only one who felt like the X-files theme song needed to be played?

FSU took the lead well into the fourth quarter, maintaining a two possession margin. FSU savage runner, Dalvin Cook looked like he wanted to show off his skills, and challenge The Rock. We saw who was Cooking tonight.

Michigan looked doomed, and played like it too. Then Hail to the Victors, they decided to show up. These are the things miracles are nearly made of.

Just take this in for a moment. If that doesn’t make your heart flutter and your stomach flip a little, I’m not sure we can continue being friends.

For those of you who would rather read my words of eloquence, allow me type poetry to you.  A pass and nearly impossible catch made by FSU Receiver in the corner of the end zone, vs solid man on man coverage. Next, the FSU field goal attempt is blocked and ran back for a Michigan TD.

It came down to a 32-33 FSU lead, and they won. img_4476

I really don’t think I can sleep tonight realizing tomorrow could hold even more of this deliciousness.

Let’s take a trip down fantasy lane. Tomorrow what is going to happen? Allow me to peer into the depths of prediction.

Alabama vs Washington. 

Look dear hearts, this is serious. I’m considering bowing down on both knees tonight and telling our dearly beloved, I will forego my obsession for Christian and Jimmy in 2017, if UDUB can give the Tide their duces, and tell them they won’t back down. Well now there’s a nice comparison, HC Petersen looks a little like Tom Petty, without the long hair.

Washington will be making their appearance in the daytime, since they usually come alive in the night time #pac12afterdark. Don’t allow the underdog status to fool you.  Their HC, Petersen likes playing the underdog. In fact, he’s played it so well, he took his former team, Boise State to two former BCS Bowl games, winning both leading to undefeated seasons, including upsetting Oklahoma ten years ago.

I too would look away, if I was standing next to Satan Saban in the flesh. screen-shot-2016-12-30-at-11-41-23-pm

Washington has been known for their D this season. After all, they have a linebacker named Psalm Wooching. I’d expect they will be putting a Whooching on Bama’s QB Jalen Hurts, and enveloping him right into their golden box.

We’ve heard about how good Bama’s D is. And since numbers don’t lie, the stats are really impressive. This is where the game will be risky for Washington’s QB Browning. He will need rock solid protection to block off that Bama D.

img_2543Next, Clemson vs Ohio State. This could be a fun time.

I’m already thinking Ohio State advantage. Last season in the National Championship game, otherwise known as the biggest party in the South, Clemson was leading and found a way to lose.

Realize, scoring in college football is easier than scoring on Tinder, so expect this game to be high-scoring. I’m not complaining, I enjoy scoring. Ultimately the Ohio State defense vs Deshawn Watson will be a great matchup. I could see the final score totaling over 75, and it being very tight right until the end.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Don’t Let Me Down

Last post I caught us up to date on the Playoff picture, that the Jets loss on MNF was my nightmare before Christmas, and I would love a new team as my holiday prezzy. I was also very much looking forward to the game of the year on TNF, the Raiders and Chiefs.

By the powers of the NFL + Twitter, Thursday night meant I could have my nails done, while watching the object of my desire, the Oakland Raiders on my little phone. Technology I cannot live without you.

The Chiefs D made Carr, and all his receiving weapons look like each of them were missing their abilities. I was so impressed. I’m also guilty of not looking much in Travis Kelce’s way, the Chiefs chief TE, so I decided to look up his stats. Google informed me Catching Kelce was not something I was not only yelling telling the Raiders D, but a show on E!

Want to know how much of a reality TV femme I am? Hint, it’s next to none.

Football, yes. The Bachelor, no.

In the near future I’ll post what I like to answer anyone who asks, what’s my favorite position… tight end. They are quite nice, and need to be used more, which lucky for me, have been used in several offenses across the league this season.   tightend_position

It’s always a little dull on Saturdays when the college football season has said bye, I’m leaving for another year. 

I saved up my hopes for Saturday night , that Lamar Jackson would win the Heisman. When he did, I felt like Clark Griswold after his lights finally turn on.

high-west-distillery-yippee-ki-yay-blended-straight-rye-whiskey-utah-usa-10738181This glass is to you Heisman voters, Yippee Ki Yay! No really, the glass I poured to honor the Heisman winner Saturday, really was High West’s Yippee Ki Yay Whiskey. 

Knock, knock…

Who’s there? It’s Lane. Lame? No Lane. Lame?

Yes, very lame, Lane Kiffin

(autocorrect please… don’t stop providing me with endless ideas)

A torched couch by the local Volunteers, in front of his family’s home in Knoxville, can’t keep Lane away from his head coaching dreams. I’m shaking my head, really trying to undress what it is Lane wants… 

I may need to put on a pot of bourbon to help me type through this situation…

Lane provides us an updated persona to associate with #winning.

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-5-30-59-pm

He’s had not one, not two, but three, tres, trois – coveted HC positions.

We’ve heard the saying, torch your past bridges to light the one in front of you. Lane has done that with perfection… straight to FAU

It wasn’t enough to be the youngest coach in the NFL coaching the Raiders, and later being called a liar by the owner Al Davis. Lane wasn’t scared, so he was off to charm Tennessee in the SEC. Once that wasn’t working, he chose to leave that one for a more pretty one, named USC. Surprise, surprise that didn’t work out either, as he was left on the tarmac on the plane ride home, without his things, when the pretty one said, this is done.

This is not a recap of your friend’s or my friend’s relations-it. This is the fabulous life of Lame Kiffin. This is the kind of reality TV I enjoy dear hearts.

This is a man who after winning a game, when being asked by the media, acts as though he just arrived in America, and doesn’t quite understand how to speak the english language into a camera. Simply, Borat would give a better post game interview.

Dear Lane, let’s have a little heart to heart and let me make a few points:

a). we’re all done with Saban

b) you have Coach O’s cell number 

c) you’re meant to be a OC at most

d) you’re not HC materiaL 

e) Baton Rouge is full of many pretty southern belle’s… who adore football

f) you’re single now

g) you’re not winning

h In Baton Rouge you would win!

The alphabet is tired , and so am I, and I didn’t run out of more reasons to give…

With these points dear Lane, tell the Owls you’re deeply sorry. You drunk dialed the athletic director, and oops said yes to something you really shouldn’t have. Say thank you, but no thank you. Then hang up and call Coach O. Do it now.

This kitty may need a cat nap after all of that and it’s only Tuesday. Never mind, let’s keep the good times rolling.

Dear Washington HC Peterson you may want to call this guy. He won by two touchdowns in his Bowl Game against your next opponent. Okay it was 2009 and Bama may not have been as loaded as they are now, but my little point is, he and his staff beat the Sabonator. And if you don’t have Sack Lake City on speed dial, may I suggest you do it now. We’re all counting on you to disrupt the path of the Boring Bama dynasty.

Oh the Jets…they won in overtime. (silence) Now, when can I see the GM board the plane and leave everyone on the tarmac to fulfill my Christmas wish? Don’t call me a grinch. This is the intervention us Jets fans need.

Sunday night gave us a glimpse into what may lie ahead for the NFC with the Giants / Cowboys matchup. Although the Cowboys lost, I’ve been impressed every time I watch a little Dak. He takes control, and he can’t do that without solid protection. Control? Protection? I want more… I’m talking about a nice QB and a solid O-line of course. 

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Leaders of the PAC?

One thing that will make this honey rise n shine faster than 2 for 1 Loubi sale… PAC 12 MEDIA DAYS – oh the ecstasy. 

I’ve been attempting to preoccupy my brain while July, otherwise known as the month of my birth, and the worst non-football month of the year, passes us by … Bye!

I’ve been meticulously pouring over the annual Phil Steele of knowledge like it’s the GMAT, GRE, LSAT, and MCAT all bundled into one. And my little life depends on knowing who plays MLB for Tennessee.

So these are the days where I can hear the season predictions from the Oracles of West Coast football, like it’s the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting.

Traditionally this little pre-season activity makes me made me happier than a Macallen 30 neat.

It was all for nothing… Kind of like that last-second play, USC forgot to play against ASU last season. *Hint start at the 13:55 mark.

Like that dear hearts…

While Rich-Rod is never a bore, and I adore Coach Leech’s dating philosophies, piñatas were being hit, punched and smashed, and Sarky made a little snarky, ‘duck you’ Oregon comment, I left with more uhhhhhs than ahhhhs.

Maybe it’s all that D, I’ve been getting. Yes that vitamin D that we Angelinos basque in for 11 months out of the year. Maybe it’s gotten into my silly little head. This felt like a disappointment.

Similar to that tinder date who you thought by their pic looks like a smoke show, only in real life is a solid 5.56789999, or a 6?

Just like that dear hearts.

Bring on the makers mark, let’s not waste the fine malts. I need to put on a pot of bourbon after this.

I certainly hope this is not the PAC’s expectation for the season. Let’s step it up a notch, ok Gents?