Putting It All on Red

There’s nothing like the sun peaking in my boudoir, and waking up next to ESPN radio. Like most things in the morning -except a man- first, I have to turn it on.

I was instructed to immediately digest critical knowledge this AM, regarding smart vs stupid. Bless you Bill Barnwell of Grantland. Your momma should be proud.

In the words of the Gray Lion You’ve got to know when to hold ’em Know when to fold ’em Know when to walk away Know when to run

I give you Exhibit A, a solid demonstration of the NFL draft. Except the NFL GM making the moves, would add a couple zeros to that total for a first round picky, pick, pick.

No, don’t believe me? Ok, dear you are right. Nod to Bleacher Report for another piece of truth.

What Billy B and Uncle Pete have done, are not really a genius moves. #sorrynotsorry to turn your man crush into an 7 instead of a 10. Both definitely share a thread of insanity, especially when opting not to punt in several critical 4th down situations. Another example of why this game is ahhhmazing.

These gents prefer to work with their GMs unlike this team. Next, both teams create their own markets, by driving up the demand of the players they really don’t want, making the other GMs take the bait and those that do…

As a side note, Commish Goodell let’s discuss draft strategy, switching the draft location from Radio City Music Hall, to the Marlin’s stadium in Miami. Just.Say.Yes!

(Although, this could be a way baseball could lure a younger fan audience)

Hush now, that’s our secret -wink- Nothing the new bossy at the MLB needs to know.

Miami. Girls. Booze. Pool. Draft. Halftime could be like polo, when everyone runs out to stomp on the divots. Except it could be kick the ass in the ass, who made the dumb draft pick.

Maybe this isn’t such an original idea

If you think I’m picking on your team, no need to be silly darling. One of those silly teams that reacts by trading draft picks, and picked up (non) Touchdown Jesus, is my team. That other team in New York. J! E! T! S! which usually stands for Just end the season.

Eventually I will hold a state of the union with Woody J, covering how we can not only free up some cap space, but also have a fighting chance to win over Hoodie Billy B. That time is just not now.

FFF

Let Me Savor This Pats

You have been a very, very bad boy Tom…

I just love how those words sound being typed on my little keyboard. Such a bad, bad boy!

Silly Tom, did you think you wouldn’t get caught taking the air out of those balls? The air out of your beloved balls. The balls with the long, white laces you like to caress with your long fingers. Especially that big one you like to…win…the football you like to win with.

As an unofficial honorary member of team gangrene, there’s nothing more satisfying than watching the Pattie Pat Pats, a) loose, or b) get into trouble.

I have this silly smile across my face, and no it’s not about my date last night. Cue Sinatra… I’m in heaven…. Tom Brady, I’m in heaven …Humming along to La Voz, as I pour a MacAllan 15 neat. Cheers to you silly men!

This precious moment brought to us by the deflate-gate scandal, may takeover the beauty of a Brady interception caused by Kansas City corner Sean Smith, earlier this season. Watching the Pats lose that night was satisfaction. De-lic-ious

Quoting Billy B in his opening statement to the media yesterday, “In my entire coaching career, I have never talked to any player or staff member about football air pressure,”

Really… Oh come now… Never… Ever?

Billy B, never is very bold statement. I realize you’re a bold guy, making bold moves in your hoodie and such. (giggle) As a man of your caliber, I would take an educated guess and state, especially after that little affair all of us remember, never is a word your mouth should instantly reject making the sounds of. Pop, lock, and hail-mary pass the key to that word far, far away.

Air pressure is a little valuable commodity. Especially when the primary object used, to move eleven men up and down the gridiron, and the object of the game, #winning, is dependent upon air pressure.

So when you and Tommy Boy have chit-chats, and I’m confident to state you probably know, since you like to channel your own Fifty Shades of Football, and the word controlling has your picture next to it in the dictionary, that YOU know Tom doesn’t really prefer his ball fully inflated. He likes it a little soft…

As Tommy B quoted back in 2011 on that scream-and-pound-your-chest-cuz-I’mma-Bawston-Broh radio station WEEI, and giving a nod to ProFootball Talk as the source, “I love that, because I like the deflated ball.”

Oh Tom… Tom… Tommy Brady (shaking my finger) This Jets fan knows better. You’re charming ways don’t entrance this honey.

Off with this head! Just teasing… I still want to watch that pretty face get sacked.

You know I love sacks -wink-

I’m all in with Colin Cowherd on the ultimate Billy B and Tommy Boy punishment… Mandatory HBO Hard Knocks appearance for two seasons. I can hear the soft cry now. (giggle)

FFF