SIGH…

No matter what I do
I’m no good without you
And I can’t get enough
Must be love on the….. brain /Rihanna 

After feeling The Draft flow in and out, acknowledging a few new faces, like my new Tight End obsession , we’re about to begin the most boring time of the year. Get your sunblock, swimsuit, floaty and adult juice of choice ready. 

Drive yourselves to distraction. The Void will be here until Labor Day weekend.

Let’s take a peek at that very sexy Saturday: September 2, 2017. I’m licking my lips thinking of all the action I’ll be taking in that day. Michigan vs Florida, FSU vs Bama, and LSU vs BYU.  Ooh Yes.

Spring football was… okay. No one wants to get hurt, which is understandable. We can let our little minds wonder for the next 3.5 months, will Clemson return? Could Michigan make it to The Playoffs? Will Washington husky through the PAC12 North? Will USC tump through the PAC12 South? Will Heisman winner Lamar Jackson at Louisville help his team win the ACC? Could Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield win the Heisman? Too soon. 

Back to NFL there are already a few changes. We’ve discovered Jay Cutler, former Chicago Bear’s quarterback professional scowler and semi-starter, will be an analyst for FOX this upcoming season. No one wants to see his bear-end ever again. Really, I don’t.

Colin Kaepernick may be getting a little more res-pect from me for his recent Know Your Rights camp in South Chicago. Rumors are he’s set on becoming a political activist versus collecting a check on an NFL roster. Maybe it’s from Kaep not feeling any NFL love.

And that’s that for this week.

Since I come alive in the Fall Time, my vacation time starts once the season kicks off. The Football Femme Tour 2017 will be in various cities across the US: San Francisco, Palo Alto, Nashville, New Orleans, Miami and maybe a few others. I can be full of surprises.

Cheers,

x|o FF

Is there a Draft in Here?

 

Join me dear hearts, as I discuss the 2017 NFL Draft, the Jets playing safety with their cap room, a proud moment as a University of Utah Alum, and the pretty boys of UCLA – All over my favorite scotch: Glenmorangie D’Or

 

 

 

Something New…

Dear hearts,

The time has come for me to reveal to you who I am… on YouTube.

This is a first for me, so please be gentle… or don’t. I can handle it.

Most of you prefer to listen or watch something instead of read. Allow me to give you a K.I.S.S. (keep it silly simple), and grant your wish.

I would love for you to subscribe to my channel.

Meanwhile, this little thing is not ending. Posts will continue to be written, for those who like to read my words of poetry, about football + Scotch Whisky.

Cheers,

x|o FF

WRONG

Twisting and turning
Your feelings are burning
You’re breaking the girl
(She meant you no harm) / Red Hot Chili Peppers 

Dear hearts, I’ve really held my tongue debating if I should write what I’m about to write. Thanks to the not-so-fine-non-gentleman @Uber, I strongly feel I must.

As a woman who has worked in male-dominated industries my entire professional career, which include finance, football and high-tech, you wouldn’t assume or guess it upon first looking at me. I dress and look very feminine, hence why I chose the name of this blog to reflect my style, writing about the two things I adore, football and scotch whisky.

I prefer skirts and dresses and 3-4″ heels on a daily basis. I do not feel comfortable in dress pants or flats. I’m also already tall, which can add a factor of unfortunate intimidation in some cases.

I’ve learned how to put people at ease, since I do not fit into a box of what they feel I should-be, since this is who I am.

Why am I explaining this? I have been the only woman at countless meetings, dinners, and events. I’ve hardly thought twice about it. I have not wanted to be treated any differently than the men around me. I worked hard for my respective positions, and my perception is, there is no difference between us.

We are witnessing social injustice toward women across football programs and Silicon Valley companies, and I feel I need to stand up and say something on behalf of my gender, and as a woman who has been employed in both sectors.

Be warned, I’m about to channel my inner 90’s Courtney Love. 

First, I see a coward in Travis Kalanik CEO of Uber, who finds NOW is the time he needs to make changes, including gathering all the female engineers within his organization to share with them, he can sympathize.

I nearly threw up.

Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to have a man unexpectedly reach up your skirt and feel you up or slap your a**?

Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to get stared down like a piece of meat from an co-worker you want NO part of, and are terrified to walk to your car parked in the underground garage when you wrap up your work at 9 PM?

Trav I’m sure you know what it’s like to report said employee to HR, only for them to look you up and down and say, well you are an attractive woman., and this is only his first offense. 

Maybe you know exactly what it’s like to work your a** off and be told, we appreciate your efforts but that guy over there, who isn’t nearly as qualified as you are honey, feel he’s a better fit. Later to discover he has a family, that’s why he’s a better fit. 

Travis you definitely know what it’s like to have a baby and return from maternity leave only to find your position suddenly no longer necessary, or told if you have kids, climbing back to your position will be nearly impossible.  

Travis I’m sure you can sympathize what it feels like to be a woman… 

Next, The University of Oklahoma, including and not limited to HC Bob Stoops (whom I strongly believe should still be fired for allowing that running back on his team receive a slap on the wrist for breaking a woman), is also part of this problem.

One NFL GM and team will believe they can change, what they view as a little misfortune, and make him into a good-guy. I’m suppressing one hell of a laugh. Gents, habits are not formed overnight. You think this is a one-time incident? Think again.

Lastly, Baylor… is just warming up. It’s officially Wa-Co for women in Waco, including of all people within their athletic department, this female non-leader, women’s basketball HC, Kim Mulkey and her comments last week.

Come on Kim, I thought these things were done with no tears? Isn’t that the game played, or what you tell your players?

Let me be absolutely clear here, I love and adore men. I am not a I’m-a-woman-here-me-roar-type. I do not believe one gender is superior to the other. WE need each OTHER.

I have had the privilege to work with astounding, humble and talented people. I’ve also worked with arrogant, egomaniacal people who believe the world and everyone in it owes them something. That’s just life.

I (speaking for myself) do not want to be treated any differently than my male-counterparts. All I ask is for the same opportunities as them.

As Diane von Furstenberg said in her remarks, the night her exhibit Journey of a Dress opened at LACMA, I’ve always wanted to live a man’s world in a woman’s body. 

I want to emphasize here dear hearts, I’m not looking to be right. I want us to get it right. These are issues the president of our country has been accused of committing, which makes my stomach sink.

We are failing here and it’s shameful.

Let’s make a change and stand up for others, while rocking out to Hole’s Live Through This, as we live through this.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

TROUBLE

Oh dear hearts, this off-season is treating us well. Generally after the exciting, fast-paced season, we know things will slow down and move into comfortable territory.

Not this year, and we I like it.

I woke up Saturday, feeling fresh after my previous night’s affair with Balvenie 14 on an LA rooftop with my two lovely ladies, to news: Oklahoma starting QB and Heisman Honey, Baker Mayfield decided in his intoxicated state, outrunning the police in ARKANSAS the same night, would be a fine idea.

I must say it’s a shame, since he was sacked tackled in Arkansas -which if you didn’t know, loathes the Oklahoma Sooners- that Mayfield wasn’t hog tied, thrown in the back of the cop car and had to say “Woo Pig Sooie” via Snapchat the entire ride to the police station.

Okay… not my best fantasy, but one of many.

Let’s pause and shake our heads for a moment. If you’re an OU fan, now would be a good time to pour one neat or put on a pot of bourbon, since this isn’t the only silly thing he’s done while at OU.

Hint, men should never wear spanx or spandex. Oh wait. Men do, at The Combine…

Lets chat a minute about The Combine, since it begins this week. Darling it’s silly, yet we watch.The NFL has taken this to an event-like level. It’s ~300 sweaty athletes, wearing spanx, performing football-like activities in March.

I won’t lie to you, yes I want to watch Adoree Jackson, Dalvin Cook and Jabril Peppers. I’ll also watch each of their performances later over a little thing by the name, internet. Watching things live is not in sync with my lifestyle, where I stare at a smaller screen and not a 50″, all the time.

Now, here is the real femme rant. Brace yourselves. I want to see a player play. Not run the forty, catch passes, or bench 225 lbs until he’s given up on life, in a controlled environment.

No. No. No.

I want action! Imagine with me if the combine featured a 7-on-7 over 7 minute drills and rotated out players. I’d like that. In fact, I’d like that very much. It proves to me how that lineman or a specialty player reacts against various players. Also they would be wearing helmets and pads, unlike that svelte material, keeping this more in-touch with reality.

Ultimately I want to see how players react in real-time.  That shows me more, than him jumping 40 feet in the air, or running the 40-yard dash -unless he’s a WR or a Safety-.

Similar drills will also take place during each respective school’s pro day. Also similar drills can be done over practice, which scouts constantly attend during the season.

Don’t try to whisper to me The Combine demonstrates how a prospect handles himself under pressure (silly), or how he reacts to TV-time (again silly). Don’t do it.

Ole Miss is turning into one ole hot mess. Dear hearts, here’s a lesson in life, if you’re going to cheat, it better be: a) well-worth it b) better than what you’ve ever done before c) help you win. Doesn’t appear any of those little points made their way into HC Hugh Freeze & Co’s minds. Welcome to the trouble with college athletics football.

I’ve found it ironic how Ole Miss creeps their way into the Top 25 CFB pre-season rankings, season after season… consistently. Now that can finally stop.

In closing, this lady shed a few tears over the weekend. The Jets released O-lineman Nick Mangold, who not only had a mane of gold, a heart of gold, he also held down and was the whole O-line for the last three seasons. He deserves better, all of us Jets fans should agree.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

REBEL, REBEL

You love bands when they’re playing hard / You want more and you want it fast – David Bowie, RIP

I believe I’m one who will take the good times with the bad times. One of those ride or die women. Then I attended a Raiders game.

They were playing the Jets. Of course I had to be there. I wore my Jets had proudly walking in. They were there to play. I was there to support. It was only proper. It’s a semi-gangster moment to say I walked into the coli wearing my Jets hat with no shame.

Okay you caught me… my hat is black… and I was in black / gray attire, so you can tell I know how to handle myself when presented with a situation like this. My friends, who are fans and non-fans, counseled me to dress like them. Blend in. Don’t let them see who you’re really cheering for.

After placing my head in my hands many times, and viewing the game through my fingers, at the disaster that played out before me (which is the usual for us fans of Gang Green), I decided to change my POV.

I’m a my-whiskey-glass-is-half-full kind of woman.

First, the view from my seat felt like the field was right below me. Not 100 yards away like at MetLife. I was enjoying the club level, much like I also do back in NYC. I felt like I was actually watching the game at the stadium, not on my TV.

Second, after a few teasing words from the gents around me, they realized I could speak the ball of foot language, had massive respect for the great Bo Jackson (my all-time fave player), Howie Long, Coach Madden and one amazing woman, Amy Trask, they offered to buy me a few drinks. We sat back to watch their enjoyment, and my sadness.

I began to really like Raider Nation. Raider Nation embraced me. By the end of the game I was infatuated.

I decided to ask those around me how much their seats are. When they told me I first had to erase my look of shock and instant response, ‘pro season tickets less than USC football?!’ then I said, ‘okay and for your PSL?’ They looked at me like I was saying a naughty word, or hinting at a new STD.

‘PSL? We don’t have PSLs here.’ I was loving this place and team even more.

The next day I called their ticket office. I wanted a piece of the Coliseum. Unfortunately they didn’t have a place for me in 213… but months later they did in 214.

This is how the Raiders became the object of my affection last season dear hearts.

Raiders love is some love. As I took it all in, which felt more like a college game vs pro, and the community around me, add that view I had from section 213 I thought ‘THIS is one of the best NFL stadiums I have ever sat in.’

I’ve visited eight others. The femme football tour will continue this season. It’s not stopping until I’m six feet under.

I love the stories of grandmothers sitting in the stands next to the Black Panthers and Hells Angels. It demonstrates how deep the support of this team runs, how badass the team, the people and fan base are. I’ve not even touched on NWA and the way they made the Black & Silver get noticed and part of their brand.

Being a Raider means you’re a rebel. You’re not like the rest. You standup for injustice. You stand for what you believe in. You found those who get you, and you’re family. Once a Raider, always a Raider.

This is the same team with a former owner who was a raider in his own right, robbing two cities with relocation, who hired minorities, including a Hispanic Head Coach, and a woman to run his front office. He may have grown a little senile as his age increased. I won’t gloss over that detail, he was a pioneer, and a rebel.

The list of well-known players from the 70’s and 80’s and how impressive Derek Carr played this season could take up another post, so I’ll stop here.

Thank you Oakland. Hopefully you will stay.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

MY AFFAIR

See you in September / See you when the summer’s through – The Happenings 

Dear hearts I wanted to share with you my deep affection for my true love, football. It’s only fitting to give you a little something to enjoy on this day of love.

Our  relationship has had it’s ups and downs over the years. Some seasons it treats me right, other seasons we’re in misery. No matter what, I keep coming back for more, September until right before Valentines Day. I can’t get enough. I’m infatuated. The game has me wrapped around it stronger than the white laces holding the ball together.

I could spend hours, maybe days discussing plays, strategies, coaches, players and the business behind the sport.  Nickel vs dime packages. Pocket passers and those who should never run with the option. Why the spread has been so much more potent for defenses to handle, than the wildcat could only wish to be. I should probably stop there. I could be here the rest of today, tonight and tomorrow.

I fell in love when I was a little young thing, at six years old. I grew up in a community like those in West Texas (it wasn’t), unaware it was out of the norm for communities to shut down for high school football / Friday Night Lights, that my classmates’ fathers were coaches at well-known college football programs, the Division-I college coaches constantly attending my junior college’s games, or that guy’s uncle was my driver’s ed instructor.

Our relationship was in the stars. I was meant to fall in love with this sport.

My household could care less. Basketball and soccer were allowed, not football. This was not the case at my friend’s homes. I was entranced by how the game would bring my community together.

I give much appreciation to my boy-friends and boyfriends over the years teaching me about this wonderful game. I decided to take things into my own hands when I was a sophomore in college. My team and college had an undefeated season and I wanted to know more. I bought every coaching book from Barnes and Noble, including Football for Dummies (this femme has no shame), and got to work that summer. By fall I was interviewing to work for my college team, and could easily explain why our starter was a five-step QB vs the traditional three. I worked for my college team for over four seasons.

As a devotee to the sport, I wait longing for you as the months pass until you show up again this fall.  To you football, I adore you.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

GILDED

I know what to show / And what to conceal No one ever died from wanting too much
The world is not enough -garbage 

Pattie Pat Pats… -sigh- you did it again…

Yes, this is obviously late dear hearts. I had to give myself a week to digest what exactly happened. I’ve watched the tale of the tape a few times, and realized I missed something quite special, while I was in someplace quite special.

Truth is not only was my heart in Paris my-self was too. I found a way with my pretty friend, to watch the first half up until halftime, when everyone went Gaga. Until that point, I wasn’t going Gaga. I thought, well maybe the Pats are done and my fantasy may come true.

I had to sleep. I had a train to catch the next AM to London. Europe doesn’t hold its schedule for a femme who loves her American games.

The texts I woke up to hours later were priceless…
“What a game!”
“Wow… just wow” 
“Boo… can’t believe that happened” 

I immediately tapped my apps to figure out just WTF (what the football) had just happened hours earlier. 

I was stunned… but not really. As a Jets fan, we know how those boys to the north find ways to win, and Coach Belichick has his own fifty shades of control drawn up for every team, tapping into his inner voyeur spying analyzing them.

Although the Hot-lanta Falcons were giving the Pats a taste of how fiery they were, I became concerned how their man to man D could continue playing as intense, as they had so far. Let’s face it dear hearts, you would be exhausted too if you had to chase around receivers x, y, z and the greatest QB of all time. Not an easy task, let alone the biggest game of your life that lasts longer, and is far more heavy than any of the other 16 games, and playoffs you’re already exhausted from playing.

Tommy boy proved my thinking to be right where it needed to be.

Enter Julian Eldelman, who’s not only my trainer’S BFF, he also catched that catch, bringing me to my knees and tears to my eyes. Paris heard me say “OOHHHH LA LA!!!”  That play was both glorious and hurtful.

The game was Magnifique!  Who needs the Mona Lisa or a Monet? This is football!

Could we stop what we’re doing this moment, to give Coach Sark a congratulatory clap for his quick comeback? Hollywood couldn’t have written a better script. From getting fired at USC, to battling alcoholism, Sark has been not only been an OC for Alabama, he’s now the newly appointed OC for the Falcons. Maybe Lame Kiffin should take a page from Sark’s book.

Looks like the offseason won’t be boring. Keep it coming gents.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

C’EST LA VIE

 

Ready. Aim. Fire. 

What we witnessed Sunday dear hearts, when Mr Rodgers walked into Dallas’ neighborhood with his fire-arm. Dusting off the Cowboys, and their non-defense, like the snow he shovels out of his driveway.

This weekend of NFL divisional playoffs demonstrated the key to win is, have a solid QB. Big Ben, Matty Ice, Tommy Boy, and definitely not that big Houston bust, Brocky Boy.

Let’s give Dak credit, for performing so terribly in the first half, his stats nearly mirrored A-Rodg’s. Try to stay calm that HC Garrett doesn’t want to officially name who his starter will be next season. If he did, what fun would that be? We would have less to question and / or talk about. Perspective darlings, always keep it in mind.

I noticed the ‘boys MLB Sean Lee can’t play all corners of the field and continue to drop back. He definitely gave it a good shot. Jerry needs to learn from another owner how to make your GM get you two corners. Hint, tear off two corners of a napkin and pass along. Brilliant

Lay-Ve-On-it 

The new femme verbiage for Leveon Bell, the Steelers running beast, or RB. Good description of why he needs to touch the ball when the other Steelers threat, Antonio Brown isn’t posting a live feed in the team’s postgame huddle.

Speaking of the real NFL reality star Travis Kelce, his Irish temper flared up. Can you blame him? If one call made the decision of an outcome for all playoff games this weekend, the holding penalty against the Chiefs OT for the 2-point conversation was it.

Oh, and the Pattie pat pats won. (Eye roll) Some habits die hard. So dear football gods, this is my request for a Packers / Steelers SB.

Blame it on the Rams for leading the charge. Here comes a another team to my dear city. 

I have zero respect for a team who blew smoke in the eyes of their beloved fans, taking a page out of the former Baltimore Colts, (pulling off an unexpected overnight relocate in ’84 from Baltimore to Indy) how to relocate and make your fan base loathe you, overnight.

Since we believe in discussing unfair advantages here, lets flip to the business side. This move was genius.
Depending what personal beliefs you subscribe to, capitalism may be a pretty or ugly word. This move was all about the capital. The starter 30K seat stadium, along with gate receipts, (concessions, merchandise, tickets and that suite life) will be incredible numbers for not only the team, also The League.

Remember dear hearts, NFL teams split their revenue, which is the key in all of this craziness, equating to a solid strategic move for The League hitting that $25 BILLION revenue target Goodie Bear wants to achieve by 2027.

In short, we saw a Billionaire playboy who was married for 54 years, leave his long-term old thing, for the smoking hot new thing, and eventually making his bank account grow.

I have a little feeling, the Chargers will find a way to be the next Hard Knocks team.

 

Cheers,

x|o FFF

BUSTED

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Last post, I brought up the Redskins playing risk with their potential playoff situation, who made my naughty list, including the BS bowl games that are not worth yours or my precious time. Also the intense criticism against Christian McCaffery and Leonard Fournette’s decisions to not play in their BS games, and prep for the NFL.

A few posts ago I mentioned the NY Giants looked like a paper tiger, and to not allow their record fool you. Dear hearts, TNF made me look like a football genius. 

The Eagles flew right by those silly men who thought they are big. The D with out JPP looked lifeless, and OBJ in his now viral post game meltdown, provides nice examples that a team is not worth their record. 

Let me tell you a little story, a few years ago after the niners lost in the super bowl, my friend’s son, had one of the most epic meltdowns my little eyes have ever witnessed. In one motion he threw down his niners hat, while melting onto his knees. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He screamed “noooooo”.

I’ll admit, I was very uncomfortable. Last Thursday that uncomfortable feeling came back, watching OBJ at night.

He was channeling this little boy, who had everything he asked for, except he wanted the box the toy came in, his mother threw in the garbage. He growled, then threw this forehead into a wall.

Not.Cute. 

December 24 was another sunny day in LA. As a nice little start before my holiday travel, I took in the Packers and Vikings. Mr December, yes that’s Aaron Rogers, has shown us how his stats can only grow during this month.

A Christmas Miracle arrived in Cleveland, and it wasn’t because of LeBron. The Brownies won! Then heartbreak hit later.

Who’s list grew faster, the NFL IR or Santa’s? That wasn’t a trick question.

The world came crashing down for the Raiders, Titans and Seahawks. Each saw their respective team aces break things and require season-ending surgeries. I’m guessing that’s not what they wanted for Christmas, Hanukkah or the New Year. 

Raiders HC Del Rio was the star in the most somber press conference after a win. The nightmare isn’t over. While it’s never a great time to lose your leader, this was really poor timing football gods. Playoff-worthy, must-win games versus the Chiefs + the Broncos are set over the next two weeks for the Raiders. Brace yourself Raider Nation, it could be happiness or disaster. 

Well just paint my sole red! Oh, it already was. Here’s a little tip, no matter how terrible the Steelers or Ravens have played during the season, their matchup is always one to watch. A nice defensive battle, ticking down to a last-second-who-will-win play. No one, not even three Ravens defenders could block the catch thrown to Steelers, you can’t touch this,WR Antonio Brown.

Next came the Chiefs putting the axe down on the Donkeys. Oh, you didn’t know I loathe the Broncos? Now you do, and that’s for Boise State too.

The Chiefs are the Chief team to watch in the NFL right now, besides the Cowboys, in my little opinion. I’m not saying this since each have premiere tight ends, solid o-lines, and lockdown DBs. Well, maybe that’s why they should be watched for your viewing pleasure.

Speaking of the Cowboys, Monday night was a little delight. The first 30 minutes provided the best chess match up on turf all week. Then the roaring stopped in the second half, and the game moved into boring status. I saw one person on the Lions D, zig and zagging, his name is Ziggy Ansah after all, and was the only defender attempting to wrap up Dak, Zeke, and Dez. At least the Dallas D finally made their appearance.

Pass protection of Dak is awe-inspiring. Really, O-line coaches should be making an o-face happy face, and asking how can I do that, watching what Dallas has done.

You may have noticed I didn’t mention anything college football-related. Good catch, Friday I will preview my little thoughts and opinions around the start of the Playoff, also the Orange and Rose Bowls. All will be stunning for yours and my little eyes to see.

My affair with whiskey was enhanced in Park City. There’s a nice little ski-in / out distillery I had the pleasure of savoring, before jetting back to reality. Who says you can’t drink in Utah?

Cheers,

x|o FFF