SIGH…

No matter what I do
I’m no good without you
And I can’t get enough
Must be love on the….. brain /Rihanna 

After feeling The Draft flow in and out, acknowledging a few new faces, like my new Tight End obsession , we’re about to begin the most boring time of the year. Get your sunblock, swimsuit, floaty and adult juice of choice ready. 

Drive yourselves to distraction. The Void will be here until Labor Day weekend.

Let’s take a peek at that very sexy Saturday: September 2, 2017. I’m licking my lips thinking of all the action I’ll be taking in that day. Michigan vs Florida, FSU vs Bama, and LSU vs BYU.  Ooh Yes.

Spring football was… okay. No one wants to get hurt, which is understandable. We can let our little minds wonder for the next 3.5 months, will Clemson return? Could Michigan make it to The Playoffs? Will Washington husky through the PAC12 North? Will USC tump through the PAC12 South? Will Heisman winner Lamar Jackson at Louisville help his team win the ACC? Could Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield win the Heisman? Too soon. 

Back to NFL there are already a few changes. We’ve discovered Jay Cutler, former Chicago Bear’s quarterback professional scowler and semi-starter, will be an analyst for FOX this upcoming season. No one wants to see his bear-end ever again. Really, I don’t.

Colin Kaepernick may be getting a little more res-pect from me for his recent Know Your Rights camp in South Chicago. Rumors are he’s set on becoming a political activist versus collecting a check on an NFL roster. Maybe it’s from Kaep not feeling any NFL love.

And that’s that for this week.

Since I come alive in the Fall Time, my vacation time starts once the season kicks off. The Football Femme Tour 2017 will be in various cities across the US: San Francisco, Palo Alto, Nashville, New Orleans, Miami and maybe a few others. I can be full of surprises.

Cheers,

x|o FF

Is there a Draft in Here?

 

Join me dear hearts, as I discuss the 2017 NFL Draft, the Jets playing safety with their cap room, a proud moment as a University of Utah Alum, and the pretty boys of UCLA – All over my favorite scotch: Glenmorangie D’Or

 

 

 

Something New…

Dear hearts,

The time has come for me to reveal to you who I am… on YouTube.

This is a first for me, so please be gentle… or don’t. I can handle it.

Most of you prefer to listen or watch something instead of read. Allow me to give you a K.I.S.S. (keep it silly simple), and grant your wish.

I would love for you to subscribe to my channel.

Meanwhile, this little thing is not ending. Posts will continue to be written, for those who like to read my words of poetry, about football + Scotch Whisky.

Cheers,

x|o FF

RETURN OF THE BACK

No one man should have all that power
The clock’s ticking, I just count the hours
Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the power – Kanye West

Keep it simple, run it up the middle. NFL teams may soon nod their heads in agreement dear hearts. This draft is bursting with running back talent, it feels like we’re back in ’94.

Power, known in football circles when an explosive RB blasts through the gaps the O-line creates for him, and pounds through any of the D-lineman, or linebackers in front of him. Smash mouth football at it’s core. The same style of football I lovingly named the Big Ten, Big Boring for seasons.

Over the last 10-ish seasons in the NFL, 15-ish for college, the shift in popularity of teams favoring the spread offense, which features slot receivers and quick passing plays maximizing yardage, is ultimately the counter to power, and usually more exciting to take in on your 50+ inches of pleasure.

This draft may have offensive coordinators shaking up their schemes.

The beauty of power running is the simplicity, which makes it straightforward. Ground and Pound. 

• Leonard Fournette
• Dalvin Cook
• Christian McCaffrey
• Alvin Kamara
• D’Onta Foreman

These are a few names who are hopeful to have Commish Goodie Bear, give them a rose jersey, and announce the home team where their destiny awaits.

Speaking of drafting, you caught me… Yes I watched The Combine. I was a little surprised McCaffrey ran a faster forty than Fournette. Apparently the latter weighed in five LBS more than he played in college. Oops… Muscle weighs more than fat, we know that!

My favorite position was a standout… Tight End. We know I love a nice one. With the schemes NFL teams have been running -Panthers, Saints, Pattie Pats, Cowboys- a solid TE is needed in the modern game. I love every second of it. In my little opinion, the most versatile and generally underrated position on a team.

There’s also a well-known veteran RB who may be willing to dock his ship with the Vikings to join another team – AP, Adrian Peterson. He’s feeling a little unappreciated by his fellow crewmen, or maybe he’s feeling bored again.

We’ve heard the saying, stand up for something or you will fall for anything. If you kneel for something, will you fall standing up? It’s okay dear, you’re not the only one shaking your head. Colin Kaepernick, professional National Anthem protestor and former semi-QB for the hot-mess San Fran 49’ers,has decided, since his recently updated status is FA, Free Agent, he will no longer kneel during the National Anthem. He performed his duties -eye roll-

Can’t trick us silly Cap! We know this was a PR move his agent suggested, and it’s burning him.

Another week, and not boring… Thank you off-season Gods.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

 

WRONG

Twisting and turning
Your feelings are burning
You’re breaking the girl
(She meant you no harm) / Red Hot Chili Peppers 

Dear hearts, I’ve really held my tongue debating if I should write what I’m about to write. Thanks to the not-so-fine-non-gentleman @Uber, I strongly feel I must.

As a woman who has worked in male-dominated industries my entire professional career, which include finance, football and high-tech, you wouldn’t assume or guess it upon first looking at me. I dress and look very feminine, hence why I chose the name of this blog to reflect my style, writing about the two things I adore, football and scotch whisky.

I prefer skirts and dresses and 3-4″ heels on a daily basis. I do not feel comfortable in dress pants or flats. I’m also already tall, which can add a factor of unfortunate intimidation in some cases.

I’ve learned how to put people at ease, since I do not fit into a box of what they feel I should-be, since this is who I am.

Why am I explaining this? I have been the only woman at countless meetings, dinners, and events. I’ve hardly thought twice about it. I have not wanted to be treated any differently than the men around me. I worked hard for my respective positions, and my perception is, there is no difference between us.

We are witnessing social injustice toward women across football programs and Silicon Valley companies, and I feel I need to stand up and say something on behalf of my gender, and as a woman who has been employed in both sectors.

Be warned, I’m about to channel my inner 90’s Courtney Love. 

First, I see a coward in Travis Kalanik CEO of Uber, who finds NOW is the time he needs to make changes, including gathering all the female engineers within his organization to share with them, he can sympathize.

I nearly threw up.

Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to have a man unexpectedly reach up your skirt and feel you up or slap your a**?

Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to get stared down like a piece of meat from an co-worker you want NO part of, and are terrified to walk to your car parked in the underground garage when you wrap up your work at 9 PM?

Trav I’m sure you know what it’s like to report said employee to HR, only for them to look you up and down and say, well you are an attractive woman., and this is only his first offense. 

Maybe you know exactly what it’s like to work your a** off and be told, we appreciate your efforts but that guy over there, who isn’t nearly as qualified as you are honey, feel he’s a better fit. Later to discover he has a family, that’s why he’s a better fit. 

Travis you definitely know what it’s like to have a baby and return from maternity leave only to find your position suddenly no longer necessary, or told if you have kids, climbing back to your position will be nearly impossible.  

Travis I’m sure you can sympathize what it feels like to be a woman… 

Next, The University of Oklahoma, including and not limited to HC Bob Stoops (whom I strongly believe should still be fired for allowing that running back on his team receive a slap on the wrist for breaking a woman), is also part of this problem.

One NFL GM and team will believe they can change, what they view as a little misfortune, and make him into a good-guy. I’m suppressing one hell of a laugh. Gents, habits are not formed overnight. You think this is a one-time incident? Think again.

Lastly, Baylor… is just warming up. It’s officially Wa-Co for women in Waco, including of all people within their athletic department, this female non-leader, women’s basketball HC, Kim Mulkey and her comments last week.

Come on Kim, I thought these things were done with no tears? Isn’t that the game played, or what you tell your players?

Let me be absolutely clear here, I love and adore men. I am not a I’m-a-woman-here-me-roar-type. I do not believe one gender is superior to the other. WE need each OTHER.

I have had the privilege to work with astounding, humble and talented people. I’ve also worked with arrogant, egomaniacal people who believe the world and everyone in it owes them something. That’s just life.

I (speaking for myself) do not want to be treated any differently than my male-counterparts. All I ask is for the same opportunities as them.

As Diane von Furstenberg said in her remarks, the night her exhibit Journey of a Dress opened at LACMA, I’ve always wanted to live a man’s world in a woman’s body. 

I want to emphasize here dear hearts, I’m not looking to be right. I want us to get it right. These are issues the president of our country has been accused of committing, which makes my stomach sink.

We are failing here and it’s shameful.

Let’s make a change and stand up for others, while rocking out to Hole’s Live Through This, as we live through this.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

TROUBLE

Oh dear hearts, this off-season is treating us well. Generally after the exciting, fast-paced season, we know things will slow down and move into comfortable territory.

Not this year, and we I like it.

I woke up Saturday, feeling fresh after my previous night’s affair with Balvenie 14 on an LA rooftop with my two lovely ladies, to news: Oklahoma starting QB and Heisman Honey, Baker Mayfield decided in his intoxicated state, outrunning the police in ARKANSAS the same night, would be a fine idea.

I must say it’s a shame, since he was sacked tackled in Arkansas -which if you didn’t know, loathes the Oklahoma Sooners- that Mayfield wasn’t hog tied, thrown in the back of the cop car and had to say “Woo Pig Sooie” via Snapchat the entire ride to the police station.

Okay… not my best fantasy, but one of many.

Let’s pause and shake our heads for a moment. If you’re an OU fan, now would be a good time to pour one neat or put on a pot of bourbon, since this isn’t the only silly thing he’s done while at OU.

Hint, men should never wear spanx or spandex. Oh wait. Men do, at The Combine…

Lets chat a minute about The Combine, since it begins this week. Darling it’s silly, yet we watch.The NFL has taken this to an event-like level. It’s ~300 sweaty athletes, wearing spanx, performing football-like activities in March.

I won’t lie to you, yes I want to watch Adoree Jackson, Dalvin Cook and Jabril Peppers. I’ll also watch each of their performances later over a little thing by the name, internet. Watching things live is not in sync with my lifestyle, where I stare at a smaller screen and not a 50″, all the time.

Now, here is the real femme rant. Brace yourselves. I want to see a player play. Not run the forty, catch passes, or bench 225 lbs until he’s given up on life, in a controlled environment.

No. No. No.

I want action! Imagine with me if the combine featured a 7-on-7 over 7 minute drills and rotated out players. I’d like that. In fact, I’d like that very much. It proves to me how that lineman or a specialty player reacts against various players. Also they would be wearing helmets and pads, unlike that svelte material, keeping this more in-touch with reality.

Ultimately I want to see how players react in real-time.  That shows me more, than him jumping 40 feet in the air, or running the 40-yard dash -unless he’s a WR or a Safety-.

Similar drills will also take place during each respective school’s pro day. Also similar drills can be done over practice, which scouts constantly attend during the season.

Don’t try to whisper to me The Combine demonstrates how a prospect handles himself under pressure (silly), or how he reacts to TV-time (again silly). Don’t do it.

Ole Miss is turning into one ole hot mess. Dear hearts, here’s a lesson in life, if you’re going to cheat, it better be: a) well-worth it b) better than what you’ve ever done before c) help you win. Doesn’t appear any of those little points made their way into HC Hugh Freeze & Co’s minds. Welcome to the trouble with college athletics football.

I’ve found it ironic how Ole Miss creeps their way into the Top 25 CFB pre-season rankings, season after season… consistently. Now that can finally stop.

In closing, this lady shed a few tears over the weekend. The Jets released O-lineman Nick Mangold, who not only had a mane of gold, a heart of gold, he also held down and was the whole O-line for the last three seasons. He deserves better, all of us Jets fans should agree.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

MY AFFAIR

See you in September / See you when the summer’s through – The Happenings 

Dear hearts I wanted to share with you my deep affection for my true love, football. It’s only fitting to give you a little something to enjoy on this day of love.

Our  relationship has had it’s ups and downs over the years. Some seasons it treats me right, other seasons we’re in misery. No matter what, I keep coming back for more, September until right before Valentines Day. I can’t get enough. I’m infatuated. The game has me wrapped around it stronger than the white laces holding the ball together.

I could spend hours, maybe days discussing plays, strategies, coaches, players and the business behind the sport.  Nickel vs dime packages. Pocket passers and those who should never run with the option. Why the spread has been so much more potent for defenses to handle, than the wildcat could only wish to be. I should probably stop there. I could be here the rest of today, tonight and tomorrow.

I fell in love when I was a little young thing, at six years old. I grew up in a community like those in West Texas (it wasn’t), unaware it was out of the norm for communities to shut down for high school football / Friday Night Lights, that my classmates’ fathers were coaches at well-known college football programs, the Division-I college coaches constantly attending my junior college’s games, or that guy’s uncle was my driver’s ed instructor.

Our relationship was in the stars. I was meant to fall in love with this sport.

My household could care less. Basketball and soccer were allowed, not football. This was not the case at my friend’s homes. I was entranced by how the game would bring my community together.

I give much appreciation to my boy-friends and boyfriends over the years teaching me about this wonderful game. I decided to take things into my own hands when I was a sophomore in college. My team and college had an undefeated season and I wanted to know more. I bought every coaching book from Barnes and Noble, including Football for Dummies (this femme has no shame), and got to work that summer. By fall I was interviewing to work for my college team, and could easily explain why our starter was a five-step QB vs the traditional three. I worked for my college team for over four seasons.

As a devotee to the sport, I wait longing for you as the months pass until you show up again this fall.  To you football, I adore you.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

Not Lying Intentionally (NLI)

Dear hearts I have so much to share with you, my fingers are shaking with excitement! 

Are you ready for this weekend? SB LI is Sunday if you didn’t know. Yes the Patty Pats will be playing, along with their fearless leader, Hoodie Billy B.

Kind reminder to refrain from doing this during the game … He’s their fearless owner 

Be like this guy…. He’s lit and over 70 years old. Not quite the dirty bird, close enough. 

He’s also the Falcons owner in his spare time, since retiring from building the store you likely spend your Saturday improving your home at. 

Personally, I’d rather sit sixth row, wearing in my fur, channeling my inner Joe Namath at Met Life Stadium, while watching the heartbreaking Jets play, in front of me when I’m over 70. I’m optimistic over the next four decades… 

Who will win this lovely game? Watching the Pats lose a SB again is a nice little thrill. I prefer when Tommy Boy is upset. It’s not that easy to predict, and this game could be one of the best SB match ups to date. 

Let me guide you through a few points: 

Pattie Pats Pros

• Experience – been here, done this before with 4 trophies  
• Brady – arguably, sigh- one of the greatest QB’s of all-time will be starting
• Possibilities -Belichick +DC Patricia +OC McDaniels can draw up plays and game plans that make opponents have nightmares

Negatives

• Gronky – that tight end is out and he played a critical role 
• Overconfidence – they may want to throw it to the birds, and that wouldn’t be smart with this Hot-lanta team

Falcons Pros

• Offense – Fast + versatile with QB Ryan and primary target, J. Jones
• O-line – Solid protection to operate the show behind them
• Defense – A force and one who can fly into Brady 
• HC Quinn – the new coach pumped more than a little life into the team this season
• OC Shanahan Jr – he knows what to do with their system(s)

Falcons Negatives

• Inexperience  – 18 years since last SB appearance
• Defense –  young things Belichick can destroy quickly with his Tommy gun and additional offensive weapons – Edelman +receivers x, y, and z…

My prediction is a low-scoring affair, heavy on the D. That’s where both teams will need to focus since both offenses are potent.

If you are a pro-only type of football fan, the worst time of the year has possibly begun.

Unless you’re like me, who enjoys pro-style and college. 

Over the last 7-10 days, snaps, tweets and and many videos of recruits announcing to us silly fans, which school they will be signing off all their rights to as student athletes, tomorrow. 

The days of the hat swap in a high school gym, or an idea taken from The Decision have vanished. It’s okay dear heart to get a little excited. Now take a breath, and realize 2 -3 gents actually work out. It’s like picking a stock netting you a 35% gain. There’s not a science to it. Luck plays a heavy hand. 

Oh no… We’re witnessing another stadium finance disaster. How do you catch a billionaire? Or a millionaire trying to become a billionaire. Offer him several hundreds of millions in cash for a new stadium. Giggle if you didn’t see this coming…

These little snags happen. Ronnie Lott is running in to save the day, just like he used to when he played for the 49er’s. That’s domination in more than one way. Oh, San Diego is now also giving an offer… the residents will love that.

This is a lot to suddenly take in…

Cheers,

x|o FFF

GET IT

A little topic is receiving a lot of fingering and tweet-service via Twitter today: young writers, unpaid internships and going after what you want. Let me share with you a little secret:

PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE DEAR HEARTS

I’m a believer in a little tough love. We know deep inside it’s the best kind.

Iwanted to work for my college’s football team. I wanted to be in charge of decisions and be respected. I didn’t know what role that would be in college. I knew the position I wanted to hold for pro team. Amy Trask, former Raiders CEO held a beacon of light, that if she could do it, I could do it too.

I began working as an intern for my mentor, Mr Hendrix and no is first name is not Jimi, in the athletics department. He was a former four-year starting point guard for our alma mater, leading our team to the Sweet 16 decades ago. At 5’10” he was not built to play in the NBA. He instead played six seasons as a corner in the NFL. He never played a down of football outside of high school. As he told me once, he didn’t like the feeling of being hit. One of those teams he played for, the Dallas Cowboys during their prime.

When I walked into his office I had no clue who he is. The accomplishments he displayed, his two degrees prominently  placed on top of a cabinet and several photos of his family surround his desk. Modesty is a virtue.

He gave me good advice, and the realities of playing in the NFL.

See, I was raised in a house where football wasn’t turned on every Saturday or Sunday. No my father wasn’t an armchair QB. I had to pull a QB sneak to peek at games.

Football is revered in my small-town community. A national football power at the time, was only 45 minutes away. Football brought people in my community together. The game fascinated me, and so my obsession began.

While interning unpaid for Mr Hendrix, I worked 1-2 additional jobs to pay my rent and expenses. I was a first generation college grad. A small-town girl who was feeling her away around a system that was savage. Read: it wasn’t easy.

Beverly Hillbilly’s exist. I’m living proof.

I was promoted to work for my college football team, as the Assistant Director of Football Operations for 4 seasons following my internship. I was paid, but if I told you what it was, you would think I was crazy to do what I did, for as long as I did. Most days I loved it, some days I didn’t. That’s life dear hearts.

I didn’t know it then, my last day working in football was NLI signing day February 3, 2010. I would work even harder to gain a similar position at USC. After years of making connections, and acceptance into the Marshall School of Business to pursue my MBA, I was told during my interview I was overqualified.

That’s what happens when you chase other dreams, like joining a tech startup that IPO’d. Another story for anther day… 

Realize all you have is yourself. Know your worth and be willing prove it. Go. Hard.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

ONE MORE TIME

The devil went down to Georgia / He was lookin’ for a soul soul to steal  – Charlie Daniels 

In my last update, I explained how greed is good for The League in LA, in a city where one team isn’t enough, and a round up of the divisional playoffs. 

I promise dear hearts, it wasn’t the unusual rainfall here in La-La land, or my (x) glass of Auchentoshan from the night before on the Sunset Strip, that I felt a little sleepy in the 2nd quarter of the Falcons / Packers Sunday…

This was a completely different game versus their other match up in October.

That was fun, this was a challenge…

I chanted Go Pack Go,  hopeful they would make it a game. The devil, or the Packers defense couldn’t quite capture Matty Ice on Sunday in Georgia, at the last game played in the Georgia Dome. Another football relic I won’t see, before the demolishing crew comes in with a wrecking ball…

We didn’t view much stealing from the Packers sideline, besides looks of sadness. There really aren’t juicy details to review what we watched dear hearts. It was clear, the Falcons #roseup and the Pack didn’t. Game over. 

The Patty Pat Pats are in the SB again…

New England demonstrated that with, or without their tight end, no problem. Enter their third string WR Chris Hogan. He used to be property of the Bills, and thank the football gods he didn’t play against the Jets. He pulled off the same numbers as Julio Jones (2 TDs for 180 Yards). Yes, the well-known Hot-lanta WR. 
The Steelers didn’t look organized. Saying the secondary played terrible is being quite kind. Terribly good is not what I meant. 

Six carries for 20 yards… Le-Vey-on-it, wasn’t on it. That’s exactly what she said here. No ball security and / or finding the end zone, or at least a first down. Cap it off with Big Ben is threatening to retire. 

Try not to giggle as much as I did over the following sentence: Johnny Manziel has announced to the world, he’s ready to grow up, sober up and return to The League.

Yes dear I have fantasies too, but these are quite some dreams Johnny has…

Johnny Football decides now he loves football? Let’s read between Johnny’s good intentions to find the unvarnished truth: a collector or five may be knock-knocking on Johnny’s door, and he needs to earn a paycheck quickly.  

He’s been invited to the newly minted NFL Spring League, or the USFL 2.0. The League knows we will likely watch a subtle hot mess. At least it’s football… In the Spring. 

In real news, Harbsy is taking his squad to Rome for a week in April. Of course educational experience was mentioned, this is a college football team. Don’t try to read into the details where this was announced just over a week before Not Lying Intentionally (NLI) Day, meaning every recruit in the nation’s ears just perked up, and if they didn’t, mine did. 

I know I shouldn’t but I do… want a Harbsy international scandal. Now it’s written, so maybe it will be done. If history likes to repeat, we know something is bound to happen. Although we already have enough with the current Viva America show that just started. 

Cheers,

x|o FFF