SIGH…

No matter what I do
I’m no good without you
And I can’t get enough
Must be love on the….. brain /Rihanna 

After feeling The Draft flow in and out, acknowledging a few new faces, like my new Tight End obsession , we’re about to begin the most boring time of the year. Get your sunblock, swimsuit, floaty and adult juice of choice ready. 

Drive yourselves to distraction. The Void will be here until Labor Day weekend.

Let’s take a peek at that very sexy Saturday: September 2, 2017. I’m licking my lips thinking of all the action I’ll be taking in that day. Michigan vs Florida, FSU vs Bama, and LSU vs BYU.  Ooh Yes.

FullSizeRenderSpring football was… okay. No one wants to get hurt, which is understandable. We can let our little minds wonder for the next 3.5 months, will Clemson return? Could Michigan make it to The Playoffs? Will Washington husky through the PAC12 North? Will USC tump through the PAC12 South? Will Heisman winner Lamar Jackson at Louisville help his team win the ACC? Could Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield win the Heisman? Too soon. 

Back to NFL there are already a few changes. We’ve discovered Jay Cutler, former Chicago Bear’s quarterback professional scowler and semi-starter, will be an analyst for FOX this upcoming season. No one wants to see his bear-end ever again. Really, I don’t.

Colin Kaepernick may be getting a little more res-pect from me for his recent Know Your Rights camp in South Chicago. Rumors are he’s set on becoming a political activist versus collecting a check on an NFL roster. Maybe it’s from Kaep not feeling any NFL love.

And that’s that for this week.

Since I come alive in the Fall Time, my vacation time starts once the season kicks off. The Football Femme Tour 2017 will be in various cities across the US: San Francisco, Palo Alto, Nashville, New Orleans, Miami and maybe a few others. I can be full of surprises.

Cheers,

x|o FF

Something New…

Dear hearts,

The time has come for me to reveal to you who I am… on YouTube.

This is a first for me, so please be gentle… or don’t. I can handle it.

Most of you prefer to listen or watch something instead of read. Allow me to give you a K.I.S.S. (keep it silly simple), and grant your wish.

I would love for you to subscribe to my channel.

Meanwhile, this little thing is not ending. Posts will continue to be written, for those who like to read my words of poetry, about football + Scotch Whisky.

Cheers,

x|o FF

RETURN OF THE BACK

No one man should have all that power
The clock’s ticking, I just count the hours
Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the power – Kanye West

Keep it simple, run it up the middle. NFL teams may soon nod their heads in agreement dear hearts. This draft is bursting with running back talent, it feels like we’re back in ’94.

Power, known in football circles when an explosive RB blasts through the gaps the O-line creates for him, and pounds through any of the D-lineman, or linebackers in front of him. Smash mouth football at it’s core. The same style of football I lovingly named the Big Ten, Big Boring for seasons.

Over the last 10-ish seasons in the NFL, 15-ish for college, the shift in popularity of teams favoring the spread offense, which features slot receivers and quick passing plays maximizing yardage, is ultimately the counter to power, and usually more exciting to take in on your 50+ inches of pleasure.

This draft may have offensive coordinators shaking up their schemes.

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The beauty of power running is the simplicity, which makes it straightforward. Ground and Pound. 

  • Leonard Fournette
  • Dalvin Cook
  • Christian McCaffrey
  • Alvin Kamara
  • D’Onta Foreman

These are a few names who are hopeful to have Commish Goodie Bear, give them a rose jersey, and announce the home team where their destiny awaits.

Speaking of drafting, you caught me… Yes I watched The Combine. I was a little surprised McCaffrey ran a faster forty than Fournette. Apparently the latter weighed in five LBS more than he played in college. Oops… Muscle weighs more than fat, we know that!

My favorite position was a standout… Tight End. We know I love a nice one. With the schemes NFL teams have been running -Panthers, Saints, Pattie Pats, Cowboys- a solid TE is needed in the modern game. I love every second of it. In my little opinion, the most versatile and generally underrated position on a team.

There’s also a well-known veteran RB who may be willing to dock his ship with the Vikings to join another team – AP, Adrian Peterson. He’s feeling a little unappreciated by his fellow crewmen, or maybe he’s feeling bored again.

We’ve heard the saying, stand up for something or you will fall for anything. If you kneel for something, will you fall standing up? It’s okay dear, you’re not the only one shaking your head. Colin Kaepernick, professional National Anthem protestor and former semi-QB for the hot-mess San Fran 49’ers,has decided, since his recently updated status is FA, Free Agent, he will no longer kneel during the National Anthem. He performed his duties -eye roll-

Can’t trick us silly Cap! We know this was a PR move his agent suggested, and it’s burning him.

Another week, and not boring… Thank you off-season Gods.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

 

WRONG

Twisting and turning
Your feelings are burning
You’re breaking the girl
(She meant you no harm) / Red Hot Chili Peppers 

Dear hearts, I’ve really held my tongue debating if I should write what I’m about to write. Thanks to the not-so-fine-non-gentleman @Uber, I strongly feel I must.

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As a woman who has worked in male-dominated industries my entire professional career, which include finance, football and high-tech, you wouldn’t assume or guess it upon first looking at me. I dress and look very feminine, hence why I chose the name of this blog to reflect my style, writing about the two things I adore, football and scotch whisky.

I prefer skirts and dresses and 3-4″ heels on a daily basis. I do not feel comfortable in dress pants or flats. I’m also already tall, which can add a factor of unfortunate intimidation in some cases.

I’ve learned how to put people at ease, since I do not fit into a box of what they feel I should-be, since this is who I am.

Why am I explaining this? I have been the only woman at countless meetings, dinners, and events. I’ve hardly thought twice about it. I have not wanted to be treated any differently than the men around me. I worked hard for my respective positions, and my perception is, there is no difference between us.

We are witnessing social injustice toward women across football programs and Silicon Valley companies, and I feel I need to stand up and say something on behalf of my gender, and as a woman who has been employed in both sectors.

Be warned, I’m about to channel my inner 90’s Courtney Love. 

First, I see a coward in Travis Kalanik CEO of Uber, who finds NOW is the time he needs to make changes, including gathering all the female engineers within his organization to share with them, he can sympathize.

I nearly threw up.

Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to have a man unexpectedly reach up your skirt and feel you up or slap your a**?

Hey Trav, do you know what it’s like to get stared down like a piece of meat from an co-worker you want NO part of, and are terrified to walk to your car parked in the underground garage when you wrap up your work at 9 PM?

Trav I’m sure you know what it’s like to report said employee to HR, only for them to look you up and down and say, well you are an attractive woman., and this is only his first offense. 

Maybe you know exactly what it’s like to work your a** off and be told, we appreciate your efforts but that guy over there, who isn’t nearly as qualified as you are honey, feel he’s a better fit. Later to discover he has a family, that’s why he’s a better fit. 

Travis you definitely know what it’s like to have a baby and return from maternity leave only to find your position suddenly no longer necessary, or told if you have kids, climbing back to your position will be nearly impossible.  

Travis I’m sure you can sympathize what it feels like to be a woman… mti5mdaymjixndm3mji5ntm0

Next, The University of Oklahoma, including and not limited to HC Bob Stoops (whom I strongly believe should still be fired for allowing that running back on his team receive a slap on the wrist for breaking a woman), is also part of this problem.

One NFL GM and team will believe they can change, what they view as a little misfortune, and make him into a good-guy. I’m suppressing one hell of a laugh. Gents, habits are not formed overnight. You think this is a one-time incident? Think again.

Lastly, Baylor… is just warming up. It’s officially Wa-Co for women in Waco, including of all people within their athletic department, this female non-leader, women’s basketball HC, Kim Mulkey and her comments last week.

Come on Kim, I thought these things were done with no tears? Isn’t that the game played, or what you tell your players?

Let me be absolutely clear here, I love and adore men. I am not a I’m-a-woman-here-me-roar-type. I do not believe one gender is superior to the other. WE need each OTHER.

I have had the privilege to work with astounding, humble and talented people. I’ve also worked with arrogant, egomaniacal people who believe the world and everyone in it owes them something. That’s just life.

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I (speaking for myself) do not want to be treated any differently than my male-counterparts. All I ask is for the same opportunities as them.

As Diane von Furstenberg said in her remarks, the night her exhibit Journey of a Dress opened at LACMA, I’ve always wanted to live a man’s world in a woman’s body. 

I want to emphasize here dear hearts, I’m not looking to be right. I want us to get it right. These are issues the president of our country has been accused of committing, which makes my stomach sink.

We are failing here and it’s shameful.

Let’s make a change and stand up for others, while rocking out to Hole’s Live Through This, as we live through this.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

TROUBLE

Oh dear hearts, this off-season is treating us well. Generally after the exciting, fast-paced season, we know things will slow down and move into comfortable territory.

Not this year, and we I like it.

tumblr_mzo6bnftgu1r2buuoo1_500I woke up Saturday, feeling fresh after my previous night’s affair with Balvenie 14 on an LA rooftop with my two lovely ladies, to news: Oklahoma starting QB and Heisman Honey, Baker Mayfield decided in his intoxicated state, outrunning the police in ARKANSAS the same night, would be a fine idea.

I must say it’s a shame, since he was sacked tackled in Arkansas -which if you didn’t know, loathes the Oklahoma Sooners- that Mayfield wasn’t hog tied, thrown in the back of the cop car and had to say “Woo Pig Sooie” via Snapchat the entire ride to the police station.

Okay… not my best fantasy, but one of many.

Let’s pause and shake our heads for a moment. If you’re an OU fan, now would be a good time to pour one neat or put on a pot of bourbon, since this isn’t the only silly thing he’s done while at OU.

Hint, men should never wear spanx or spandex. Oh wait. Men do, at The Combine…

XXX 15-_CLOWNEY.JPGLets chat a minute about The Combine, since it begins this week. Darling it’s silly, yet we watch.The NFL has taken this to an event-like level. It’s ~300 sweaty athletes, wearing spanx, performing football-like activities in March.

I won’t lie to you, yes I want to watch Adoree Jackson, Dalvin Cook and Jabril Peppers. I’ll also watch each of their performances later over a little thing by the name, internet. Watching things live is not in sync with my lifestyle, where I stare at a smaller screen and not a 50″, all the time.

Now, here is the real femme rant. Brace yourselves. I want to see a player play. Not run the forty, catch passes, or bench 225 lbs until he’s given up on life, in a controlled environment.

No. No. No.

I want action! Imagine with me if the combine featured a 7-on-7 over 7 minute drills and rotated out players. I’d like that. In fact, I’d like that very much. It proves to me how that lineman or a specialty player reacts against various players. Also they would be wearing helmets and pads, unlike that svelte material, keeping this more in-touch with reality.

Ultimately I want to see how players react in real-time.  That shows me more, than him jumping 40 feet in the air, or running the 40-yard dash -unless he’s a WR or a Safety-.

Similar drills will also take place during each respective school’s pro day. Also similar drills can be done over practice, which scouts constantly attend during the season.

Don’t try to whisper to me The Combine demonstrates how a prospect handles himself under pressure (silly), or how he reacts to TV-time (again silly). Don’t do it.

Ole Miss is turning into one ole hot mess. Dear hearts, here’s a lesson in life, if you’re going to cheat, it better be: a) well-worth it b) better than what you’ve ever done before c) help you win. Doesn’t appear any of those little points made their way into HC Hugh Freeze & Co’s minds. Welcome to the trouble with college athletics football.

I’ve found it ironic how Ole Miss creeps their way into the Top 25 CFB pre-season rankings, season after season… consistently. Now that can finally stop.

In closing, this lady shed a few tears over the weekend. The Jets released O-lineman Nick Mangold, who not only had a mane of gold, a heart of gold, he also held down and was the whole O-line for the last three seasons. He deserves better, all of us Jets fans should agree.

Cheers,

x|o FFF

MY AFFAIR

See you in September / See you when the summer’s through – The Happenings 

Dear hearts I wanted to share with you my deep affection for my true love, football. It’s only fitting to give you a little something to enjoy on this day of love.

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Our  relationship has had it’s ups and downs over the years. Some seasons it treats me right, other seasons we’re in misery. No matter what, I keep coming back for more, September until right before Valentines Day. I can’t get enough. I’m infatuated. The game has me wrapped around it stronger than the white laces holding the ball together.

I could spend hours, maybe days discussing plays, strategies, coaches, players and the business behind the sport.  Nickel vs dime packages. Pocket passers and those who should never run with the option. Why the spread has been so much more potent for defenses to handle, than the wildcat could only wish to be. I should probably stop there. I could be here the rest of today, tonight and tomorrow.

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I fell in love when I was a little young thing, at six years old. I grew up in a community like those in West Texas (it wasn’t), unaware it was out of the norm for communities to shut down for high school football / Friday Night Lights, that my classmates’ fathers were coaches at well-known college football programs, the Division-I college coaches constantly urlattending my junior college’s games, or that guy’s uncle was my driver’s ed instructor.

Our relationship was in the stars. I was meant to fall in love with this sport.

My household could care less. Basketball and soccer were allowed, not football. This was not the case at my friend’s homes. I was entranced by how the game would bring my community together.

I give much appreciation to my boy-friends and boyfriends over the years teaching me about this wonderful game. I decided to take things into my own hands when I was a sophomore in college. My team and college had an undefeated season and I wanted to know more. I bought every coaching book from Barnes and Noble, including Football for Dummies (this femme has no shame), and got to work that summer. By fall I was interviewing to work for my college team, and could easily explain why our starter was a five-step QB vs the traditional three. I worked for my college team for over four seasons.

lipsAs a devotee to the sport, I wait longing for you as the months pass until you show up again this fall.  To you football, I adore you.

Cheers,

x|o FFF